Adoption in the USA : FAQ

How can I remove Fear in Adoption for Koreans?

admin — Sun, 17 May 2009 22:30:00 GMT

1. I cannot accept and love a child who wasn't born from me. This is probably the most common reason why people do not adopt. People have difficulty in accepting a child who does not belong to them biologically. However, the beauty of adoption is that it is done by your choice. It is not forced upon you. From a Christian perspective, I really believe God has intended some children to be brought into this world as orphans, but to be loved and cared by other loving families. I don't fully understand the reasons behind why God does what He does. But I take comfort from the Scripture. In Isaiah 43:7 God said, "...I have created them for my glory..."

God may use a particular woman to bring a child into the world, but He has planned the child to be loved and cared by another family for His glory. We don't fully understand the mysteries behind why God would allow some children to suffer and expect us to believe they were created for His glory. But we have to trust in His infinite wisdom. In Mark 9:37 Jesus said, "Whoever welcomes the least of these children in my name welcomes me also..." Although Jesus never commanded Christians to adopt children, but this statement by Jesus clearly indicates how He will be pleased if Christian families adopt a homeless children. I see in the eyes of those homeless children the very eyes of Jesus Christ. It may be God's will for you to help those children. If you do not have a biological child, there may be a reason why God hasn't allowed you to have one. This is not a curse, but a blessing in disguise. Perhaps God has a child somewhere waiting for you. This child is waiting to call you Mom and Dad. Perhaps God wishes for you to adopt a child in His name and give God the glory through that child.

2. I have a biological child already. I am afraid I cannot love an adopted child as much as my own child.

I have heard this statement many times coming from Koreans who agree in principle the virtues of adoption, but could not bring themselves to adopt children for the fear they may not be able to love adopted children as much as their own biological children. This concern is very honest and genuine. It is natural and understandable those parents ask this question.

I believe the best place for a homeless child to grow up is in a family that already has more than one child. Having a brother or a sister in a family can be very encouraging and will help both the adopted and the biological children. However, do not adopt a child if you are not sure of yourself. Adoption isn't for everyone. I believe one has to be called to adopt. If you adopt, you must love the child equally as your own.

Let me share with you a true story of a friend of mine in Korea who adopted a child. My friend was happily married and had a beautiful daughter by birth. My friend had a lot of compassion for orphans and suggested to his wife that they adopt a child. His wife was against the idea. Not only that, his side and her side of the families were against the idea as well. Because my friend worked at an adoption agency, he occasionally traveled to the airport to escort some children who were leaving Korea to go to American families.

One day, one of the children, a baby boy, waiting to leave for America had a cancellation in adoption. My friend was notified of this change while he was at the airport. My friend could not take the baby boy anywhere, so he took the boy to his own home, where he thought his family could take care of the baby boy until he got re-assigned with another family. During this time, his wife took care of the baby everyday, and the baby was introduced to all the other family members.

After a month later, my friend told his wife that the baby has been assigned to a new family in America and the boy must leave their home. His wife was upset the boy was leaving so soon and told her husband she didn't want to give up the baby. Therefore they adopted the baby and they were very happy afterward. Their entire family members were happy as well. My friend told me that he and his wife loved the new child very much and loved as much as their own biological daughter.

Most likely, my friend's wife was concerned whether she would be able to love an adopted child as much as her own daughter. She found out when she started to take care of the baby boy. In the process she found out she could love the child as much as her own. She also realized that loving someone is a choice she can make. It is in giving, you receive blessing.

There are many people who are unlovable until you decide to love. You choose to love your spouse. You choose to love your friends. You can choose to love a child you adopt. Think of it this way. God may have planned all along for you to adopt a child. He knows that you will love the child equally. In as much as He wishes for you to bring joy and happiness through the child, God will bless your family through the child even more.

3. I am afraid that the child I adopt may not turn out very well later. I have heard of some adoptees who didn't turn out very well.

History and experience has shown that most adoptees turn out well, just as biologically born children. Just as children who are born biologically and raised in normal family settings become successful citizens in a society, adoptees become successful too. On the contrary, just as children who are born biologically and raised in normal family settings become failures in the society, adoptees can fail too. There is no difference. If biological children fail in schools and in the society, what is the reason for their failure? If an adoptee fails in the same manner, why should his failure be explained any differently? Adoptees go through the same growing pains that all adolescent teenagers go through. They have the same problems and concerns to deal with as they mature. Therefore, if an adoptee fails in a society, he is no different because children who weren't adopted fail as well.

In Los Angeles, there are many Korean teenagers who cause a lot of trouble. They don't do well in schools, they steal, they do drugs, and they get into trouble with the law. But almost none of them were adopted. They all have their own parents and families. What is their reason for failure? However, if an adoptee gets into the same trouble, most Koreans would conclude that the failure was due to the fact that he is an adoptee, or that his adoption failed. Often the Korean news media would carry stories of troubled teenagers. The unfortunate thing is that if one of those teenagers happened to be an adoptee, the Korean news media will certainly point out that he/she is an adoptee on the news headlines. You will never see that happening in the American news media. You may read about his adoption being mentioned somewhere in their articles, but not headlined like they do in the Korean society. The Korean news media must cover these articles more responsibly. We cannot draw a general conclusion on adoptees just from a few isolated cases that the Korean news media decides to focus on.

An argument can be made to say that adoptees have better chance of being successful because parents who wanted them in the first place adopted them. It is a common knowledge that many children who were born were not initially planned or even wanted by their parents, but most parents accept and cope with the unexpected surprises and raise them with love. But in the case of adoptees, they are adopted because they were wanted. The truth is that no one can predict whether adoptees will turn out well. You can't even predict whether your own biological children will turn out well. The fear of failure is not only with adopted children, but with your own children as well. It is important not to dwell on the fear, but realize that a child needs you as parents and you need that child to love and share the joy of being a family. When a child knows he/she is loved, chances are great that child will grow into loving and responsible individual.

4. I am afraid whether my family members will accept the child I adopt.

It is very important that both husband and wife agree to adopt. The decision to adopt should not be based on one partner's desire. In the Korean culture, the family relationship is very intertwined and involved. One family member does not make an independent decision on something just because he/she desires. Often approvals from the rest of the family members are required.

Take an example in marriage. If a young man loves a woman and desires to marry her, and she consents to his proposal, that is not the end. The man has to get the approval from his parents, and the woman from her side of the family. In many cases grandparents must approve the marriage as well. Countless number of love relationships has been broken either by parents or other family members. In Korea there is a saying, "If you marry, you marry into your spouse's family as well."

Therefore in Korea, this cultural aspect alone is a great barrier against couples who want to adopt. How do you overcome this barrier? The only way I can answer this question is by sharing with you a true story of a Korean family who adopted despite the objections from the family members and friends.

The Yoo family

The Yoo family lives in Korea. Mr. and Mrs. Yoo had two children biologically, a boy and a girl. The children have grown, and the boy attends a high school and the girl attends a middle school. Both Mr. Yoo and his wife are devout Christians who always had special hearts for homeless children. They wanted to adopt a child, but their parents strongly disapproved of their plan. Their friends all recommended against such idea. Some even called them crazy for adopting a child who doesn't belong to them.

Despite the objections raised by those close to them, they went ahead and adopted an infant boy. When they brought the baby home, their hearts were filled with joy as well as anxiety that come from doing something out of the ordinary. They said they put everything in the hands of the Lord.

One day, Mr. Yoo's father came to visit them. Upon seeing the new grandson, the new grandfather refused to look at the child, saying he will never hold the child or associate with him. This rejection really pained the hearts of the couple. But they knew they did the right thing by adopting a homeless child.

However, as the new grandfather witnessed the newfound joy in the couple, and how they loved the boy very much, his heart gradually began to change. He came to visit them more often. Later he started to touch the baby and hold him as well. Now he loves the boy very much.

5. I am afraid to tell my child that he/she was adopted?

Refer to: Why Do Away With Secret Adoption

6. I am afraid to admit to others that my child was adopted.

Refer to: Why Do Away With Secret Adoption

7. I am afraid my neighbors will say something hurtful if they find out my child was adopted.

This concern is very genuine in Korea (Refer to: Why Koreans Practice Secret Adoption)

Because of the fear on what others in the neighborhood may think or say about adoption, many Koreans don't adopt. If they do adopt, it is done in secret.

For every person who ridicules your child for being adopted, there will be many more who will praise you and your child. Believe not the negative comments you may hear. Believe those who encourage you with positive words and thank them. Believe that you were chosen by God to be parents to a child that needed you. Believe that you were meant for one another and you are not going to allow some foolish comments get in the way of loving that child. Your child needs your courage to stand up for him.

It will take many years before Koreans can embrace the concept of adoption in positive ways. But this can only be speeded by courageous people who would do what is right, and not listen to baseless rumors from the people who are not in the position to make any comments.

Some Koreans are downright cruel in their description of homeless children. They label them with names that are derogatory. I had a friend who lived in Korea. He and his wife had a biological child but decided to adopt a baby. After the adoption was finalized the baby came home. Not long after that, his neighbors were making very unkindly remarks. They described the adopted child as a "something the couple picked up from the street" as if to describe a "thing" rather than to describe a person. After this experience, my friend moved away to another part of the city and kept the adoption secret from then on. I don't blame my friend for his decision to move away and to keep adoption secret. But it saddens me to see how some Koreans can be very cruel. It is bad enough they don't want to help homeless children themselves, but to make derogatory comments to those who help those children are inexcusable. This applies to children who are adopted by foreign parents as well. These insensitive people oppose foreign adoption, claiming it is a national shame, but they don't lift a finger to help those children themselves.

Do not let those people dictate you what should be done or what should not be done. You can choose to be courageous and ignore them. Do what your heart tells you as the right thing to do.

8. What if his/her friends tease or embarrass my child for having been adopted?

Refer to: Recommendations to Parents

9. Will the child accept us as his/her own parents in later years?

Refer to: The third reason is...

10. What if my adopted child grows up and seeks to find birth parents?

I have never met an adoptee who was not curious about his/her background such as where they came from and who their biological parents were. For an adoptee, to have this kind of curiosity is natural and expected. Many adoptees have expressed the desire to find biological parents, and some have succeeded in finding them. But for most of those adoptees who have found their biological parents, the results have been mixed. Some, after meeting them, were just satisfied at the fact they finally found their parents and moved on without staying in contact with their birth parents again. In some cases, the biological parents resented the fact the children they gave up many years ago came back to remind them of their painful past. In other cases, the adoptees saw their birth parents and realized that they were not what they have always dreamed of and came back disillusioned and disappointed. I have seen some cases where adoptees wished they had never tried to contact their birth parents after going through the experiences of finding them.

Adoptees seek out for their birth parents out of natural instinct of wanting to know who their real parents are. After much time and effort spent on searching for their birth parents, they realize that the real parents are the adoptive parents they now have. I have never met or heard of a case where an adoptee left his adoptive parents and went back to live with his birth parents. This speaks of the fact that raising a child in love is more important than giving birth to a child. In the end, a child remembers his love, not where he came from. Therefore, do not worry if your adopted child later decides to seek for his birth parents. Support him in his search for the missing puzzle. Let him come to his own conclusion. Continue to show him your love. He will never depart your family of love.

11. I want to adopt a child, but financially limited.

Your desire to accept and love a child as your own will enable you to overcome the financial difficulty. Even the poorest of families have children of their own and do their best to live. I know an American couple who wanted to adopt a sibling group of five children from Korea, but financially unable to do so. However, the couple appealed to their church friends and got financial support from their friends. They were very happy when all five children came home. To them, finance was not the barrier, but the desire to become parents to the needy children. Some parents have borrowed money to adopt children. It takes a lot of money to raise a child today nowadays. One needs to carefully consider the matter of finance before deciding to adopt. However, listen to your heart. If you really want to adopt a child, you can always find means to do it.

People spend $20,000 or $30,000 to buy cars or remodel their homes. They may not have cash so they finance the purchases. However many consider paying $12,000 to permanently help a homeless child is too costly. It all depends on your priority.

12. I am afraid that adopting a child will ruin our family's reputation.

Please do not adopt. Children deserve better homes.

13. I am a single, or a single parent.

Although the traditional belief is that a child should have a mother and a father, it is not impossible to raise a child alone. Many single parents have raised their children successfully. My belief is that a single parent for a child is a lot better than having no parents at all. However, whether a single person can adopt a child mainly depends on the adoption laws of the country. Some countries may not allow single parent adoption.

14. I am too old to adopt.

You are not too old to adopt if you or your spouse are 44 years or younger in America, and 50 years or younger in Korea. For Korean-American couples who are older than 44 years-old but still want to adopt, the Korean government will consider case-by-case basis. If you can raise a child from his/her first year to the time of high school graduation, you are young enough to adopt.

Why Do Away With Secret Adoption?

admin — Sun, 17 May 2009 22:20:00 GMT

Although secret adoption in Korea is mainly practiced by families adopting very young children (0 - 2 years), the reasons we need to do away with secret adoptions are simple:

1) Do it for the children and the parents.
2) Do it for other homeless children in Korea.

I would like to stress again that secret adoption practiced by Koreans is not necessarily wrong due to their cultural circumstances. However there is so much more to gain by being open about it. If Koreans open up on adoption, then it will becomes more acceptable in society and encourages more Koreans to adopt.

1) Do it for the Children and the Parents.
Many Koreans may differ with this viewpoint in how openly acknowledging their adoption will be beneficial to their children. This in light of the fact that secret adoption is practiced in order to protect the interest of their children and the families involved. Therefore one may ask, "Are we really doing our child a favor by being open about adoption?"

A) The foremost reason why a child needs to be informed of his adoption is that he deserves to know the truth about himself.
However painful his past may be the child will grow up with that knowledge and accepts his own circumstances as he matures into adulthood. His maturing process is especially helped by the constant assurance and love received from his parents. This is the key to his positive outlook in life.

B) The second reason is that the fear of what others may think of one’s adopted child is over-blown.
For every person who ridicules your child for being adopted, there will be many more people who will praise you and your child. Believe not the negative comments you may hear. Believe those who encourage you with positive words and thank them. Believe that you were chosen by God to be parents to a child that needed you. Believe that you were meant for one another and you are not going to allow some foolish comments get in the way of loving that child. Your child needs your courage to stand up for him.

C) The third reason is that the fear of your child not accepting you as the real parents is also over-blown.
Most children remember those who loved more than those who gave birth to them. Of course adoptees are by nature curious about their birth parents. This is a fact you must accept as adoptive parents. The best way to show them your love is by supporting their search to find birth parents if they choose to in later years. Do not discourage their search. Do not hide any truth from them. To discourage their search is to deny a part of who they are. They need to find answers for themselves. This is the way to show your real love. After they satisfy their curiosity and longing, they will come to terms with themselves. They will have better ideas as to who they are.

For adoptees, birthparents are practically strangers even if they were to meet them for the first time. It will be very difficult for adoptees to draw closer to their birthparents since there is no shared bond of love between them for all the years of separation. This is probably the biggest obstacle adoptees may have to overcome if they were to have any meaningful relationship with their birthparents.

If you have loved your children sincerely, they will know. Your children will always stay with you because they will remember the place of love. It is possible they will find their birth parents. Once the curiosity has been satisfied, most of them will return back to their adoptive parents. I have met many adoptees in my life, and have never met or heard an adoptee, when having found birth parents decided to abandon the adoptive family and go live with the birth parents. Adoptees remember the place of love more than the place of birth.

Consequences of Children Finding Out Their Adoption Later in Life:

This is probably the greatest fear among the Korean adoptive parents who have adopted secretly. They fear their children may one day learn of his/her adoption. For most of the parents, they think this will never happen to their children. Secret adoptions may work in many cases, but keeping the adoption secret from children may be counter productive in the long run. There is no guarantee that adoption can be kept secret forever. Discussed below are potential consequences of keeping adoption secret and offer some recommendations to adoptive parents.

I have heard many cases where children find out later that they have been adopted. The emotional shock, pain and disappointment experienced by those children can be indescribable. Many feel cheated by their parents for not having been straightforward with them from the beginning. Some were able to overcome their shock with time, but many could never get over it. Below are some of my thoughts on this:

A) Many children are terribly saddened and distressed to learn they are not their parents’ real sons or daughters. This is the most painful knowledge they will have to bear for many years if not their entire lifetime. The knowledge that their parents are not the real ones will begin the longing in their hearts to search for their birth parents. Unfortunately for many children, this is the time when they are tempted to become angry and to misunderstand their adoptive parents. For example, an adoptee may recall past experiences involving punishment for wrongful deeds, extra rebuke he may have received, or parents not getting him certain gifts he wanted for birthdays or Christmas, or not spending enough time with him. These memories come back to him and make perfect sense to him why his parents treated him that way. He mistakenly concludes that his parents didn’t really love him because he was adopted. He falsely concludes also that had he been their real son, he would not have been treated that way. Therefore, It shouldn’t surprise anyone why he may resent his parents from that moment on and cause a good relationship to go bad.

B) Many adoptees will eventually overcome their initial disappointment and adjust to the new situation and realize that their adoptive parents made the decisions in their best interest, many, however, feel they have been cheated in life by having been lied to all along. Adoptive parents may try to explain the reasons or circumstances behind their decisions, but no matter how well-intentioned their reasons are, these children are hurt, and in many cases the damage to parent-child relationship is permanently damaged.

These are the reasons why the majority of the Korean adoptive parents will never reveal secret adoption to their children.

Recommendations to Parents:

If you are parents of an adopted child, and have kept his/her adoption secret, the following is my recommendation:

A) If your child is young (12 years or younger), you may reveal to the child that he was adopted. It is far better to let him know early on. Gradual adjustment and growth into the acceptance that he was adopted is a better option than learning the truth later and be shocked and confused. Contrary to the belief, a child who knows early on that he was adopted will accept his circumstance and grow with it with proper encouragement and guidance from the parents. As for the fear on what others may think of him and you as parents for your openness in adoption, the fear is much more exaggerated than what it really is. (See C below).

B) If a child is in his teen years or older and he is not aware of adoption, then maintain the secrecy and do not reveal it to him unless necessary. If you choose to reveal it to him later, then you must be well prepared to face the consequences. You must reassure your child that your love for him remains the same no matter what.

C) As for fear of your child being ridiculed or discriminated against by his school friends or other adults, the chance of that happening is very small.

I have met thousands of Korean-Americans and I have never met a person who ridiculed me because I was adopted. However, in Korea, my situation was worse because I carried with me the label of being an orphan. Even in that situation I cannot remember one time when a school friend ridiculed me because I was an orphan. The fear of being ridiculed is all in the mind. Instead of being ridiculed, I had many wonderful friends who accepted me as their friends. My memory of the people I met while in Korea to the time I was adopted into a family in the US at the age of fourteen has been very positive. This is not to say that an orphan is not ridiculed in Korea. The bottom line is, whether I was an orphan or is an adoptee doesn’t really matter much since I have met wonderful people despite my circumstances, and I choose to look on the positive aspect of the whole experience.

I had plenty of time to be called names and be ridiculed during my fourteen years living in Korea as an orphan, but I really don’t remember anyone who did. Kids tease more on physical aspects than a child’s status as an orphan or as an adoptee. It has been my experience that kids usually tease other kids for their race, color of skin, physical attractiveness, funny speech, etc., not so much on their orphan/adoptee status.

2) Do it for Other Homeless Children in Korea.

One of the reasons why adoption is not popular in Korea is that there is lack of role model families who have adopted children openly. If you adopt a child openly and love the child as your own, you become a role model for other potential adoptive parents. Your love and generosity will challenge others to look at the adoption in positive ways.

In the Western world, there is little or no fear in adopting homeless children, nor is there negative social stigma attached to those children. They have very high esteem of those who adopt. Some claim the Western world having its history entwined in the Judeo-Christian culture has something to do with their view on adoption. But the fact is clear. If the concept of adoption is well accepted in a society, and esteemed as a noble gesture toward humanity, there will be more people who will adopt.

Koreans must adopt the same cultural values. If more Koreans adopt, there will emerge more Koreans who will be open to adoption. Thus, more children having families of their own.

Is Secret Adoption Wrong?

admin — Sun, 17 May 2009 22:19:00 GMT

Before saying anything on this, I would like to first mention the old saying, "Before you can judge a person, you have to walk in his shoes first." This is another way of saying, "Before you come down hard on Koreans, you have to first live in their culture." Therefore, I can safely declare that if Koreans don’t adopt based on the above reasons, they are not necessarily wrong. It is perfectly legitimate for them to worry about what may happen to their adopted children, and it is natural for them to feel embarrassed or fear when the culture tells them they should. They just need to have courage and see the positive aspects in adoption.

Why do Koreans Practice Secret Adoption?

admin — Sun, 17 May 2009 22:16:00 GMT

Almost all adoptions in Korea take place secretly. That is, when a couple adopts a child, they do it secretly without letting others in the community know about it. The immediate family members or a few very close friends may know about it, but they are asked to keep the adoption secret from others. Nor is the child in question informed of the adoption if he/she was adopted as an infant. Consequently, the child grows up without knowing that he/she was adopted. Apparently Korea is not alone when it comes to this kind of closed adoption. Families in countries such as Japan and China and other Asian countries have similar practices. As for Korea, there are three main reasons for practicing secret adoption:

1) Parents are afraid of the possible ridicule and discrimination their adopted children may face as they grow up in the Korean culture. Children who are openly exposed as adoptees in Korea are vulnerable to other children who are not adopted. Some children (or adults) may look at adoptees as people who are less than equal. Some Korean parents forbid their children from associating with adoptees for fear their children may be negatively influenced by the children who they consider are less than equal. Some parents will not permit their children to date or marry adoptees (or people with orphan backgrounds). Some look on adoptees with pity. If an adoptee makes an ordinary mistake or gets into a trouble, he/she is judged differently from their biological children who get into the same trouble.

Therefore, parents do not want to subject their adopted children to an environment of negative social stigma. Thus adoption in Korea take place in shrouded secrecy.

2) Married couples who cannot have children are culturally stereotyped as failures

in procreating important family blood lineage. This has resulted in negative social stigma being attached to couples without children. In the Confucian culture that permeated the Korean society for hundreds of years, a woman who cannot bear a child was considered incomplete. Therefore it was shameful and embarrassing for a woman if she was unable to have children. During ancient times in Korea, women were unfairly blamed for being childless. In the old days a man could dismiss his wife for any one of the seven reasons found in the "Seven Depravities of Women." Along with adultery, the inability to bear children was one of the seven. This was a serious reason enough for a man to get rid of his wife and find another who can bear children. Though this practice was abandoned long ago, the psychological influence it had on the society for women who can’t bear children has lingered on for many generations and is still felt in the modern day Korea.

The only way for childless couples to avoid negative social stigma in the Korean society is to have children through adoption. But to do it openly (allowing others know about their adoption) means they are letting others know they were not able to have children, thus making themselves vulnerable to social stigma. Therefore they resort to secret adoption. In so doing, they would appear to others as normal families. Many families move away to another neighborhood just before or after adoptions take place. If the new neighbors don't know about their adoption, the family avoids the risk of being embarrassed.

In secret adoption, there have been many cases in Korea where some women faked pregnancy by stuffing soft pillows or cottons under their clothes to appear pregnant. In a typical case, a woman may appear to be pregnant in the eyes of her neighbor. When the time comes, she secretly goes away from the neighborhood for a while, supposedly to give birth to a child, and return a few months later with an infant in her arms, making others in the neighborhood to believe she has just given birth to a child. My friend, a social worker in Korea, has seen many of these "make-believe" pregnancy cases. It is obvious by these examples that the cultural pressure a Korean woman faces is still strong, making her to resort to these kinds of practices to be accepted by the others.

3) People usually don’t do what other people don’t do.

This is true in adoption. If the social and cultural expectations placed on adoption are something to be ashamed of or embarrassed by (not necessarily feeling shameful on adoption itself but on what other people may think of them), people obviously do not want to put at risk themselves by open adoption. Likewise, if the society and the culture see adoption as something beautiful and nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about, people will open up to adoption just like the people in the US and in Europe do.
Helping to remove the fear in adoption in Korea, especially the fear of what others may think about them and their adopted children, is one of the primary missions of MPAK.

FAQ

admin — Fri, 01 May 2009 18:08:00 GMT

Why do Korean practice secret adption?

Is Secret Adoption Wrong?

Why Do Away With Secret Adoption?

How can I remove Fear in Adoption for Koreans?
1. I cannot accept and love a child who wasn't born from me.
2. I have a biological child already. I am afraid I cannot love an adopted child as much as my own child.
3. I am afraid that the child I adopt may not turn out very well later. I have heard of some adoptees who didn't turn out very well.
4. I am afraid whether my family members will accept the child I adopt.
5. I am afraid to tell my child that he/she was adopted?
6. I am afraid to admit to others that my child was adopted.
7. I am afraid my neighbors will say something hurtful if they find out my child was adopted.
8. What if his/her friends tease or embarrass my child for having been adopted?
9. Will the child accept us as his/her own parents in later years?
10. What if my adopted child grows up and seeks to find birth parents?
11. I want to adopt a child, but financially limited.
12. I am afraid that adopting a child will ruin our family's reputation.
13. I am a single, or a single parent.
14. I am too old to adopt.
15. Is Secret Adoption Wrong?
16. Another important reason to be open about adoption