Adoption in the USA : Adoption Stories

Hannah - Energizing Gift from God on Christmas

admin — Tue, 19 May 2009 22:35:00 GMT

Hannah – Energizing Gift from God on Christmas

K.C. and Susan Kim
Trabuco Canyon, California
(Adopted Through Eastern Social Welfare Society)

Hannah with her Daddy (K.C.) and
Mommy (Susan) at a park.

The Beginning
It was Jesus who moved our hearts towards adopting a child from Korea in the autumn of 1997. My wife, Susan, mentioned our decision to Mrs. Choi who was her business partner at that time. Mrs. Choi was very delighted and asked if she could refer us to an orphanage in Kim-hae, Korea. She told us about the director of the orphanage and we knew that Jesus put the first stepping-stone for us to move ahead with our adoption of a child. In December 1997 my wife and I went to Korea and visited the orphanage – it is called Bang Joo Won, meaning “The Ark of Noah”. When we talked with Mr. Yun, the director of Bang-Joo-Won, he asked one of the volunteers to bring in a girl named “Han-na” who was 5 years old. And there she was. The first thought I had when I saw her was “Now I am a father. She is my daughter.” I looked at my wife and she seemed to read my thought. After we came back to the States, we started the process to bring Han-na home.

Han-na’s Unusual Request
We went back to Korea to see Han-na in March 1998. We spent 3 days with Han-na in the hotel near bang Joo Won. One night Han-na asked if she could take another girl with her when she goes to America. Susan and I looked each other for a while and asked Han-na who she had in mind. She mentioned a name of a girl. My wife looked as if she was struck by a lightening and I was lost for words for a while. Han-na named the girl whom my wife wanted to adopt if I did not choose Han-na. We believed God was working mysteriously for us! I called the agency in Korea if we can take the other girl as well. I was told ”Of course NOT, Mr. Kim, unless they are siblings and don’t you think it’s kind of late to find out now?” I guess I was not thinking straight. Susan and I, however, knew that Han-na would have her sister.

The Name of “Hannah”
In May 1998 I attended a retreat called REM Weekend sponsored by RHEMA Mission in Los Angeles. When the speaker, Rev. Johannes Lee, explained the Name of Jesus and how important it is to realize the love of God and the power of His name, I came to think of the love of God and what I was doing for Han-na. I did not know God when He sent Jesus to save me; Han-na did not know me when God moved my heart to adopt her. Throughout the adoption process all my thoughts were focused on bringing Han-na home. I imagined that God was thinking the same – “Bring KC home. The only way to do so is to sacrifice my own Son Jesus for KC.” I was so filled with thankfulness that the only word I kept on saying was “God loves me. Thank you, Jesus.” Then, I had an answer why Jesus wanted me to adopt Hannah. In addition to helping a homeless child by providing her a home, God knew that I was so stubborn and selfish that the only way to break the barrier that stood in the way for a loving relationship with Jesus was through this adoption experience. Also it dawned upon me that as far as adopting Han-na was concerned, Jesus made me to realize that He is the one to be credited, not me. If there is any credit or praise, it all goes to Jesus. I thanked Jesus that I came to this retreat and learned “the Name of Jesus” as a powerful means in order to bring the best of Han-na, who would grow up with strong faith in Jesus. We named Han-na as “Hannah” because 1) it is a Korean version of “Hannah” and 2) we wanted her to be a woman who relies on prayers rather than on her own intellect or experience.

Hannah - The Christmas Gift from God
In late October 1998, we had a notice in our hands that Hannah was granted the visa to come to the States. But when we talked with the agency, it might not be possible for Hannah to come home due to the Korean government’s quota system that limits the number of children going abroad to be adopted. It’s kind of ridiculous system but we were not disappointed. Instead we started making calls to the agency and “Bang Joo Won” in Korea. I remember quite vividly the reaction of Mr. Yun, the director of Bang Joo Won, when I broke the news why I might not have Hannah in 1998. Three weeks later around the Thanksgiving Holiday, we received a notice from the agency that Hannah could leave Korea as soon as all the paper works are done and asked us to make an arrangement to escort her home. We knew what to do, of course. We sent two airplane tickets to Bang Joo Won; one for Hannah and the other for Mr. Yun. Hannah and Mr. Yun arrived at the Los Angeles airport on December 26^th, 1998. Hannah was the gift from God on Christmas. How mysterious but thoughtful my Father God in heaven works! My whole family, my parents and my sister’s family, went to the airport to meet Hannah. Due to the excitement of the whole event, I forgot my camera. But to my relief my father did remember to bring his own.

Watching Hannah Sleep
Hannah was kind of quiet for a couple of hours after her arrival. But once she found out she was surrounded by people who cared for her, her voice started rising, she played very energetically with her cousins and started demanding what she wanted. The first night came and I found myself not able to go to sleep but kept staring at Hannah who was sound asleep next to me. I am not sure what I was thinking but one thing I remember is that the adoption has become the reality. Maybe I was giving a silent prayer to Jesus, asking to give me the courage and wisdom to go through any difficulties marching down on me from this day on. One thing I noticed during my sleepless hours of “studying” Hannah was that she was snoring loud with half-opened eyes. Basically I was staring at her and she was staring at me in her sleep – “Why are you staring at me, Dad?”

Meeting Sam from Bang Joo Won
Mr. Yun was very happy during his 2-week stay with us at my house. We became very close like relatives, especially when we found out that Mr. Yun came from the same town where my father came from. Last January Susan visited Bang Joo Won and stayed there for 2 days with Mr. Yun’s family and the kids. During his stay with us, we visited San Jose to meet an adoptee named “Sam-sool” (his American name is “Sam”.) from Bang Joo Won 10 years ago. It was a very memorable trip. We arrived at Sam’s house on Dec 31^st, stayed over night and on Jan 1^st we exchanged the traditional Korean bow. Even though Sam did not speak Korean I could see in his eyes how grateful and happy to see his old orphanage director. Mr. Yun could not help but to weep from time to time after seeing how well Sam grew up in a good family. Sam showed great interest in Hannah and they played together like a brother and a sister for a while; one speaking Korean, the other speaking English. In the morning of January 1^st I felt very proud and privileged to be a Korean-American adoptive parent who adopted a Korean child. Wasn’t that a great way to start the first day of the year in the last 20^th century?

The Reality of Adoption
The first sign of difficulty shadowed on us about 2 months after Hannah cam home. Susan and I had a big fight over the way she handled Hannah. As a matter of fact, it was my fault after all. I should not have interfered when my wife tried to chide Hannah on what she did wrong. One thing led to another and Susan let out her emotion, which was built inside her regarding me, Hannah and of herself after Hannah’s arrival. Basically Susan was struggling with the changes brought into her life. As for me, I assumed that Susan was doing OK since she put her smile on her face. After an hour or so Susan and I were crying loud, holding together, saying, “I’m sorry.” to each other, and praying for each other. Hannah watched us silently the whole time. Later Hannah asked us about the incident. Susan told her what she went through after Hannah came home. I don’t think Hannah understood what Susan said but at least it was good for Hannah to see that her Mommy and Daddy resolved whatever that was bothering them through prayer at the end. The reality struck us quite hard at that time.

Observing Hannah
Hannah is now seven years old and growing taller and stronger. She is never shy, instead she charges toward an unknown territory. Several times she got notices from her teacher about bullying her friends and sometimes having fights with her friends. She is a very fast learner and she does not quite feel right if she does not lead on whatever she is doing. She loves to sing. She has a very good memory. She can sing quite a few gospels from her memory either in English or in Korean. As days go by, we are thrilled to learn more about Hannah – her ability to learn and respond to the world around her. Susan and I know that it is Jesus who is raising Hannah with His purpose. We, as Hannah’s parents, only show Hannah that Jesus is the one whom we love and trust most and that He is in charge of her life as He is in charge of ours.

Hannah’s Questions
I have been reading a book called “Making Sense of Adoption” for quite a while. It has become a guideline for my dealing with Hannah as far as adoption issues go. About four months ago, on a Sunday afternoon I explained to her how she joined to the family. She looked at me and asked who her birthmother was. I simply answered that we did not know because there was no record of it. She seemed to think about it for a couple of minutes and asked if I wanted to play Monopoly with her. In the evening Susan wondered what I said to Hannah. I told her what happened. She, then, understood why Hannah said that she loved her new mother very much even though she was not born of her. Hannah may have decided to put this sensitive issue aside until she would understand better. Last weekend Hannah suddenly said that she would like to have a baby boy from her mother so that she could take the baby in her arms. I carefully probed which mother she was referring to. (That was very silly of me, in fact.) She responded to my “dumb” question with a blank look – “What are you talking about, Dad?”

An Advocate of Adoption
Because of our adoption experience, one of my friends who has three sons asked a lot of questions about adoption. I told him my story and how I felt about adoption. I encouraged him to consider adoption more seriously. Although I had no intention from the beginning, but very naturally I found myself becoming an advocate for adoption, especially adoption of Korean children from Korea. There is no doubt in my mind that nothing is more blessed than providing a home for a child with the love of Jesus. I am very glad that I found MPAK where I can share my struggles and get encouragements from the other Korean-American families that have adopted just like me. Thank you, Jesus. I know You always lead my way.

Emma's Story

admin — Tue, 19 May 2009 22:32:00 GMT

Emma's Story

by Charles and Hedy Lee

Tustin Ranch, California

(Adopted Through Eastern Social Welfare Society)

You may visit the Lee family's website and view many pictures and
other beautiful writings by Charles and Hedy Lee at:
http://members.cox.net/charleslee/

Charles, Emma, and Hedy Lee
How Happy We Are!

The Bold Announcement
These are the amazing events that that brought Emma into our lives and changed our lives forever. Our decision to adopt was not an easy one. We experienced all the pre-adoptions fears and concerns that most couples do. Being of a culture [Korean] that does not yet view adoption as being socially acceptable, added to our fears and concerns.

Rather than veil our decision behind a cloak of secrecy, we came out and surprised many of our friends by sharing our testimony in front of everyone at our [Korean-American] Church. We boldly announced that God had blessed us with a child named Emma. By sharing our hopes and fears, we felt an incredible sense of peace. We were amazed by the support and affirmation we received. Fate [God] would have it, we were able to share this news with not only our congregation, but with a visiting contingent of Trans-generational pastors and laity representing Korean-American Churches throughout the country.

The First Encounter
We flew to Korea and met Emma for the first time on August 19, 1999. We had the opportunity to spend 7 wonderful days as a complete family. This was the most memorable week in all my life. Hedy remained in Korea with Emma awaiting visa approval. Unfortunately I had to return home alone without my family. But on the flight back home, I had a chance to reflect on what I had just experienced. Here are my reflections of the first encounter that was published in an article in the Lively Word.

Finally Home
The days apart seemed like an eternity, but finally Hedy and Emma home to the United States on October 18, 1999. Every day now is filled with incredible joy. With that joy, we feel an incredible responsibility and a commission to raise Emma in a purposeful way. This was the expression of joy and the covenant we made with Emma and God.

Encouraging Others to Adopt
In retrospect, we wish that we had come to the decision sooner. We would encourage anyone in the 'considering stages' of adoption to be Bold and take that leap of faith. Create a more loving family by adopting a beautiful child of God. Your lives will be forever changed in the most spectacular way. We have never been so happy nor felt so blessed. We cannot imagine loving a child more than we love our Emma.

Grace & Peace,

Charles & Hedy Lee

A Wish for Emma

Emmanuel – “God with us.”

Thank you Emma for coming into our lives and bringing to us…

Your sweet smile,

Your adorable giggles & wiggles and

Your kissable cheeks.

Thank you for allowing us to watch you …

Kick up your legs in the morning,

Squirm as we wipe your face,

Splash water during your bath and

Snort as you chow down your meals.

Thank you for being …

Mommy’s new best friend and

Daddy’s little girl.

Thank you God for …

Hearing our silent cries,

Erasing the pain,

Filling the emptiness and

Always being faithful.

You are the most precious gift that we could have ever received. We know that this earthly life is short and that any day may be our last, so we will celebrate each morning with a new day song and give thanks for the gift of life as the day ends.

This is our promise to you. With God’s help we will work lifelong to …

Put Jesus into your heart,

Instill in you Confidence to face the challenges that life brings and

Reveal to you a Purpose for living.

Love & Prayers,

Mommy and Daddy

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of Wisdom.” Proverbs 9:10

Only by the divine hand of God could He transform the tragic breakup of one family into bring the greatest joy to another. It is only through God’s intervention that a soul destined to be intertwined with ours is miraculously united. It is only by the grace of God that we are able to experience these emotions that we would have missed had we not met her.

The Gift from God

admin — Tue, 19 May 2009 22:24:00 GMT

The Gift from God

by Do Yoon and Vivian Kim

Westlake Village, California
(Adopted Through Holt Children's Services)

Do Yoon and Vivian, holding Emrys, with her foster mother in Korea

My Early Thoughts on Adoption
It was on our third date when I asked my wife-to-be what she thought of adoption. I had been toying with the idea for several years. After I finished college, I went back home to find a job and get involved with the local church that my parents attended. For five years, I served as a youth leader, providing sermons, talks, ski trips, camping trips and organizing all kinds of activities that would broaden young peoples experience socially, emotionally, and most of all spiritually. One thing I learned from this experience was that no body has a greater impact on children than the parents. The parents have so much opportunity to spend quantity and quality time with their children, that it is inevitable that they provide the greatest influence. I thought perhaps, instead of trying to provide a little help to many people, that I should try to provide a lot of help to a few people. That’s when I started to think about adoption. I made no plans, except to keep an open mind.

Common Goals and Outlooks in Life
By our third date, I really wanted to know what kind of a person Vivian was. So as a kind of test question, I asked her about adoption. To my surprise she told me that she too had been considering adoption for several years. In fact, she had told her mother that if she was not married by the age of 30 that she would be adopting a child. I quickly realized that we both had common goals and outlooks in life. We were married 8 months later.

The Beginning - Asking the Same Questions
It wasn’t that either of us couldn’t have children. We were both tested by several doctors and every time they would tell us. “everything looks okay, its just a matter of time.” We were hoping to have our biological child first before we would adopt. But seeing that it was taking time, we decided to go ahead and start the adoption process. The initial phase was tedious, endless paperwork, everything seemed so foreign and distant. It wasn’t until we were assigned a baby that we felt that this was for real. It so happened that my brother had his third son right about the same time. I was a bit surprised that all though I was adopting and he wasn’t, we had most of the same concerns. Will they be healthy, will they grow up to be rebellious, will they be “normal”, and most of all will they grow up to be God fearing. Many of the same worries and concerns because life makes no guarantees.

Emrys and her Daddy in the airplane ride home

First Meeting of Our Daughter Emrys
When I saw Emrys for the first time in Korea, I was expecting a surge of emotions to overwhelm me. However, I still didn’t feel like she was ours until we brought her home. After spending several full days with her, I learned to bond with her more and more. I feel that I love her more and more each day. I am so enamored by her smile and googly sounds that I yearn to get home right away after work to be with her.

Proud Grandparents
When we first told our parents about our interest in adopting, they all expressed some concerns. They never objected or discouraged us, but tried to warn us about all the potential problems we would be facing. Once they fully accepted the idea, they have been so supportive. They like to show off our Emrys to their friends and they are so willing to baby sit for us. It shows in their eyes, they are proud to be her grand parents.

My Message to Korean Christians
Ephesians 1:5 of the Bible tells us that when we become Christians, we are adopted as sons of Jesus Christ into the family of God. When we adopt, we are sharing in the love that God has shown us. It is unfortunate that there are so many Christians in Korea and yet there is such a strong negative attitude towards adoption. I know that Koreans value their genetic heritage. But when we have the opportunity to provide a home for a child, why can’t we broaden our hearts and be more accepting. I am not trying to say that adoption is for everyone. But for those that have the capacity to adopt, I hope social pressures will not stop a child from finding a home.

The Gift From God
Her English name is Emrys, meaning: gift from God. Her Korean name is Aejin, meaning: true love. We find both her names so fitting. More than helping a child in need of a family, Emrys is truly a blessing to us from God.

Our Adoption Story

admin — Tue, 19 May 2009 22:17:00 GMT

Our Adoption Story

by Susan Pak

Fresno, California

(Adopted Through Holt Children's Services)

The Pak Family Enjoys an Outing at Lake Tahoe, California
(From Left to Right: John, Sara, Susan)

The Early Dreams

By the time I was in college, I had my life all mapped out. I would get my career established within 5

years of graduating and then get married by age 25 and have my first child by age 30. I was one year late getting married but didn’t mind as I was sure I found in John, the right person to spend the rest of my life with. After a couple years of setting up house and getting our business started, we were ready to start on our family.

Our Trials

When we didn’t succeed after a year and half of trying, we became concerned and decided to see our respective doctors to find out what the problem could be. We were very disappointed to find out that we couldn't have children. The response of family members and friends ranged from “I’m so sorry” to “Maybe this is God’s way of telling you that you shouldn’t have children” or “we will have a baby for you and then give it to you to adopt”. Of course no one meant to be hurtful or insensitive but their comments did nothing to lessen our grief.

Decision to Adopt

My husband at this point became very depressed and felt that I should make the decision as to what to do. He said that he would support my decision whatever it was. I felt my only option was to adopt. How could I tell my child that their biological father was their uncle or family friend? I wanted a closed adoption from Korea. I knew there were many children in Korea up for adoption. I had met Caucasian families who had adopted Korean children and I also had a good friend who had an adopted sister who looked just like her 5 brothers and sisters. I had a good feeling about adopting and the more I thought about it, the more it felt right.

After making this decision, we broke the news to our family of our plans. Their concerns were justified - what if there was something wrong with the birthparents? - what if they were not smart or attractive? - but they didn’t diminish our growing excitement of soon having a child in our arms. Our siblings were very supportive - more so than our parents. My mother one day was listening to a radio broadcast on a Korean station out of Los Angeles and heard Steve Morrison an adult adoptee talking about his experiences with adoption and of the Christian philosophy of Holt International Children’s Services. My mother was impressed with the program and called me right away to give me the contact information. Prior to this, we were thinking about using another agency that our friends used for an adoption that was not finalized because the wife became pregnant. It turned out that the other agency did not have a social worker who worked in our area so we would have to commute back and forth to Valencia - a 3 hour drive - for all the meetings. The staff at Holt International assured us that they had a social worker available in Fresno and sent us all the necessary documents to begin our application.

Holt Picnic

We were disappointed to learn that there was a requirement that a couple needed to be married a minimum of 3 years to apply for an adoption from Korea so we were not able to begin for another few months. We did however start getting our papers together and attended a Holt picnic in Orange County where we were able to meet Steve, Grandma Holt and some adoptive parents who encouraged us with their stories. Most had their healthy children arrive home at the age of 3-6 months old and were very happy with the service provided by Holt. The babies and older children there at the picnic were beautiful and seemed to enjoy their families and yet maintained ties to their culture through events such as this picnic.

The Process Started

After we celebrated our 3^rd anniversary in November of 1995, we formally sent in our application papers. We had no idea how much work was involved and had a few complications such as when we discovered that John did not have a naturalization certificate from when he became a citizen with his parents, and when his fingerprints had to be redone 3 times. Some of the friends we had asked to write a referral for us did not see our urgency and took their time getting them written and sent in to the agency. These setbacks were discouraging but we were still excited with the thought of a child in our home and proceeded to start decorating the nursery and planning the purchase of all the necessary baby items such as highchair, stroller, car seat, etc.

Our home study was completed and in August of 1996 we received our referral and the first photos of our lovely baby girl! The timing couldn’t have been better. John’s family had come to visit us on their way to a church camp meeting when the envelope arrived. We all fell in love with the picture of the one week old baby with her wrinkled up little face and clenched fists. My mother in law declared that she looked a lot like John did as an infant and when she saw that the name on file was Park, Mee Hwa felt that it was a sign that she was meant to be with us. We decided her name would be Sara Michelle, a name chosen by our niece, Kristin. My sister in law who was a pediatrician looked over her file and expressed some concern over an entry of Hepatitis and advised us to have it checked out. We had asked for a healthy child and so called the agency to have it verified that the entry of Hepatitis was in fact an error and not a diagnosis. The agency told us that they were pretty sure it was a clerical error and should have been in the treatment column as a vaccination given to the child but we requested a blood test be done to verify this. Sure enough the test confirmed that she was healthy and had no signs of Hepatitis.

THE CALL

A few more months passed and we grew more anxious to hear of our baby’s travel plans but kept ourselves busy preparing for the Thanksgiving holiday. Our families traveled from Southern California to be with us and we had much to celebrate and be thankful for. The Monday following the Holiday John had gone to work when the phone rang. A thought flashed through my mind that this could be THE CALL. I picked up the phone to hear our social worker, Phil’s voice telling me that travel plans were finalized and our baby would arrive at San Francisco airport in a week. I called John right away and all our friends and family members with the exciting news. John’s brother, Ken, and sister in law, Junghee agreed to come with us to San Francisco. We decided to spend the night near the airport so we wouldn’t be late meeting the flight. We carefully loaded the car seat into our truck and packed our baby bag with Sara’s first bottle, diapers, formula, changes of clothes and small toys.

The First Meeting of Our New Baby

I cannot describe my feelings as I first saw her in the stroller being pushed by the greeter, Sister Ellen, who met us at the airport. John and I embraced from our viewpoint on the upper level of the airport and tears filled my eyes as I realized that this was not a dream and that the 6 month old baby calmly looking around from her stroller was really our own. It only took several minutes for them to clear customs and soon the baby was in my arms. She didn’t cry or seem distressed at all. We seemed to fit as a family right away. After the necessary paperwork and meeting and thanking the escort, we headed home to start our life together as a family.

One Happy Family Now

Now that 3 years have passed since Sara’s arrival into our lives, its hard to imagine life without her. Yes, there were some hard times at first adjusting to each other - different but not more than what any other new parents might face. She has now grown into a beautiful girl, affectionate, playful and the light of our lives. She has brought so much pride and joy not only to John and I but to our extended family as well who also love her and realize how special she is. There are times when we are confronted with remarks regarding her adoption such as unsolicited advice not to talk to her about how she came into our family, and questions about her “real” parents from well meaning family and friends. We do our best to educate them on our philosophy of parenting and how we want Sara to know and be proud of who she is and where she came from. Instead of hiding her past and making it something to be ashamed of, we want to teach her how to accept it and deal with those who don’t understand or share our same views. We show her pictures of her foster family who loved and cared for her for her first 6 months and who regularly send her gifts on her Birthday and at Christmas. We read her adoption stories such as “Katie Bo” and “Tell me again about the night I was born”. We meet with and correspond with other families brought together through adoption - some with Korean parents and others with Caucasian parents.

Another One On The Way?

Lately, Sara has been asking for a baby sister or brother. We plan to accommodate her by next year.

I can't wait for my Dong Seng!

9/11 Story of Caleb

admin — Tue, 19 May 2009 22:06:00 GMT

9/11 Story of Caleb

Written by: Min Huh (Ramsey, New Jersey)
(Adopted through Holt in March 2003)

Caleb's 1st Birthday Party

The Seed of 9/11 Event

September 11^th 2001 was just another beautiful day in the fall. I drove to the gym after I had dropped off my girls at their school. The TV in the lobby had the news on about the World Trade Center being accidentally hit by a plane. I peered over in amazement, but went downstairs to my yoga class without much thought. After about an hour of exercise, as I was coming up the stairs to the lobby, feeling refreshed, then I saw a bunch of people huddling together and sobbing in terror. On TV, they were showing the building on fire and presenting the news in an impending tone. They said it was a terrorist act. People on Wall Street were running around covered with dust, and in the background, I could hear the sounds of explosion, screaming and horror. I thought to myself, “this must be what it would look like at the end of the time”. I felt as if all the sounds were fading out and everything around me was paralyzing.

It was a tragedy where everything America had been so proud of was taken away in an instant. It was a time when even the most secular Americans came together in prayers. The pain and sadness was too much for me to bear. How could so many lives be taken away just like that? On that bright, sunny morning in the fall…on the way to the glamorous work places in the financial district… Who would have thought, ‘I’m going to die today’? During the meeting, in the middle of a phone call, while having a cup of coffee… They lost their lives in the confusion of the moment. How tragic and mortifying it is! I cried out to God. I was devastated by the sinfulness of human beings. In fear, I opened up the book of Jeremiah. God gave so many warnings to the Israelites, but they didn’t turn away from their sinful ways and were destroyed. I realized that we were exactly like the Israelites. I kneeled down before God. I couldn’t live with only selfish motivations anymore.

MPAK and the Decision to Adopt
Ever since we were first married, my husband and I have been living a very comfortable life. Then in 1996, we faced financial and emotional difficulties. Those painful and humbling times led us back to God. Since then, through His grace, we became even more prosperous both financially and spiritually. We became active in helping others around us and made an effort to live kindly and humbly. However, after the 9/11 tragedy, I realized that giving without disturbing our comfort level was such a deceitful behavior. I felt ashamed reflecting on myself, continuously trying to fill my life with things of the world: bigger house, better vacations, better cars…etc. It all seemed senseless. I felt like God was saying to me, “You must share more. All that I have given you is not yours to keep, and you are only my steward”.

I discussed this thought with my husband and we decided to look for something that we could do, not only financially, but also with time and effort as a family. During my research, I learned about adoption. I was impressed to find out that there are so many people who adopt homeless children into their families.

The more research I did, my focus was moving more towards adoption. Even when I was watching a movie, reading a book, or listening to a sermon, I found myself relating everything to adoption. Then one day, I stumbled onto MPAK (Mission to Promote Adoption in Korea) website. I was surprised to find out that there were families who adopted openly in the Korean society. I was deeply impressed and challenged by Mr. Steve Morrison, founder of MPAK and Mrs. Han Yun-Hee’s (President of MPAK Korea) vision and courage. I experienced the moment of epiphany. I said, “Aha! This is it! I should adopt!”

I had always wished for one more child, perhaps a son… but on the other hand, my girls were getting bigger and I was so close to being free from child rearing. However, while praying, it became clear that adoption was the greatest idea I have ever had in my life. I asked my husband “Should we adopt our third child?” and he said, “Shall we?” I was so surprised by his reaction. My husband’s positive reaction made me even more enthused, and I started to study more about adoption. Adoption is another way of building a family, and a wonderful way to provide loving families to those children without one. Every child has the right to be loved and have a family. And, for me, I could have a son without having to give birth, and be a parent to a child who needs a family. I thought I could help give a child the rights and to love him as my own. But, then I honestly questioned myself, “Would I really be able to love a child who is not related to me whatsoever?” Suddenly, I was not so sure anymore. I was so confused and nervous. I didn’t know if it was the right thing to do. Even with my two daughters, I have such difficult time parenting them. But, how would I handle a child who is not even my own, whom I didn’t give birth to? I thought to myself, “If I can’t be a good parent to the baby, it may be better off not to adopt at all.”

I wanted my husband to make the final decision for me. I pressed on him for a decision day and night. Maybe I was hoping for him to strongly oppose. If I face his opposition, I may give up, I thought.

In the midst of all that, we went to a family retreat in May 2002 where I came to realize that I was made to be the passage of God’s blessings. God has been so great to me and the blessings are not only for me to enjoy but to be shared and spread through me. Who shall I share the fullness of blessings with? Through prayer, God revealed to me that it would be the child I would adopt.

When will I ever be completely ready to do God’s work? I just needed to trust in Him and let God fulfill all that is needed. I could finally make the decision with confidence and joy. I planned on talking with my husband about my decision when we returned home. To my amazement, on our way home, my husband said he wanted to go ahead with the adoption. He told me that he saw a vision of an infant wrapped in a blanket while he was praying the night before, and it touched his heart. He realized that it must be God’s will for us to adopt. I thanked God, who was so delicate in answering to our prayers according to our own traits– to me, the logical one- with his words, and to my husband, to whom emotion is very important – with the vision. As soon as we got home that day, we completed and sent in the adoption application.

Finding Caleb
On the application, I wrote “a healthy baby boy under the age of one”. With a note saying that I could consider treatable disease or conditions. In the Holt Waiting Child program, there were many babies with medical conditions, in a sibling group or who passed age one. Those children have even less chance of being adopted. I felt guilty that I only wanted a healthy baby myself. I couldn’t help but to pray for those babies in the waiting. I also began to pray for the baby who will be our son and for his birth mother. I don’t remember praying with such sincere heart about anything else in my life. I knew I was too sinful and weak that I couldn’t count on myself to love this baby, but only to trust God that He would grant me the love and compassion that will be needed.

On the last day of home study, I saw a photo of a baby in the Waiting Child web page. Although he was born two weeks premature and his birthmother had some symptoms before pregnancy, the baby seemed pretty healthy. I asked the Social Worker about the baby and through the Holt office in Oregon, we were able to receive information on the baby and his birth parents by fax. As I expected, the baby was healthy and normal. I could see that the baby already had masculine facial features, which reminded me of my husband. The story of his birth parents was more heartbreaking than we had imagined. We were reminded that there are so many people in the world who are in painful and difficult situations, and we were saddened by it. We found no reason to refuse the baby, but we were scared to make the decision. How could we make a decision of this magnitude so quickly? We were not ready.

I couldn’t sleep at all, and I called Mrs. Han of MPAK in Korea. I was looking for support and affirmation to make the life-altering decision. I didn’t know where to turn to. I was very nervous and scared. When I went downstairs early next morning, my husband said to me, “Let’s adopt this boy.” That same morning, we went to see our pediatrician and consulted whether the symptoms of the birth mother would have any effect on the baby. We weren’t looking for an excuse to give up, but to begin the process of preparation. No matter what the outcome, in our hearts, he was already our son.

The Holt officers said the decision-making committee met twice a month. Later on, we received a phone call. The committee agreed unanimously for our adoption, but they had one last question. “Are you going to tell the child that he was adopted? What will you tell your friends and family? Some of the committee members mentioned that Koreans like to keep adoption secret.” I was surprised to hear such a question. I never expected to be representing all the Koreans.

“Yes, I’m going to tell my son that he was adopted. I will tell him that we became a family through love. And, yes, a lot of Korean people tend to keep things like divorce, adoption, or disabilities a secret, because Koreans are very private people. But today many Korean families are sharing their adoption stories with others to raise awareness of adoption in Korea and amongst Korean Americans, thanks to efforts of organizations like MPAK.”

For the next few months, we spent our time preparing documents and learning to become adoptive parents. We hardly could wait until the day that our baby would arrive. During this time, I was able to resolve a lot of issues within myself and found peace and courage

The Best Valentine's Day Gift
On February 14, I received the best Valentine’s Day gift: the news that our son Jaewon will be traveling to come home. I was thrilled and got busy getting ready for our new baby. On Friday the 28th, my husband came home with Jaewon in his arms. He was asleep, and he seems so small and beautiful. I cried, “Finally you are home! I’ve waited so long!” He opened his eyes and started to cry, but when I held him close, he was comforted and stopped crying. He must’ve recognized his mommy. The pastor from our church visited late that night to bless our new baby and our family. It was difficult for all of us to sleep that night. It was such an emotional night: the girls were ecstatic, the baby was feeling unfamiliar in his new home and my husband and I were so grateful that he finally came home.

This was how the story of our adoption began.

I feel inadequate to write this story and reveal so much of myself. Everyone likes to reminisce about special memories, and one day I also wish to share this story in every detail with my son, Jaewon. On that note, I wish to share with you the beautiful blessings of adoption

Caleb in his tradional Korean outfit on his 1st birthday

Journey to Theo (Tae Oh) - A Great Realization

admin — Tue, 19 May 2009 19:41:00 GMT

Journey to Theo (Tae Oh) - A Great Realization

Written by: Michelle Seungmin Lee (Aloha, Oregon)
(Adopted through Dillon/Eastern in November 2004)

Theo's (left) Family Picture

The Beginning of the Journey

When Michael and I got married, we dreamed of starting our family as the next natural course of action. Five years into our marriage and living in San Francisco, where fertility treatments and adoption were equally accepted ways to build a family, we were presented with options we never thought we’d have to consider. Our first generation Korean American parents (both sides) felt choosing a method that would produce a biological child was best. They never gave adoption much consideration. Michael and I, on the other hand, thought adoption was just as viable, given that more research and planning needed to be done.

Long discussions and debates ensued as to whether we should begin looking into adoption or fertility treatments. It was decided that after a thorough physical examination by our doctors to deem us fit to be parents, we would then decide. My Ob-Gyn recommended that I come in for a battery of tests to find any blockages in my fallopian tubes. The tests alone made me lean more toward adoption. They were invasive, uncomfortable and quite time consuming. It was after these tests that I got pregnant.

I was a second grade teacher in a prominent independent school of Oakland Hills where diversity was its mantra. The second grade curriculum included a month long unit on celebrating the many diverse family configurations in our community. In the second grade alone, there were single, bi-racial, and adoptive families. It was a way to teach our students that families come in all different sizes, memberships, and colors. It made me take a hard look at our own situation. The dream of having two children of our own, shattered by difficulty conceiving, led me to think that we were meant for more than the conventional way of building a family. Michael and I were heterogeneous by sex yet homogeneous down to our last names (We are both Lee’s). Both Korean by decent, both families very well educated and well to do, I thought, my child would have nothing to share in a celebration of family diversity.

Harriet (Hae Ri) was born in January of 2003, a healthy baby girl. We couldn’t be happier. I, on the other hand, suffered a great deal physically from the pregnancy. I was having a hard time “getting back on my feet” after the birth. It dawned upon me that the key to raising a healthy family is to be a healthy happy parent. When Harriet was about 9 months old, I slowly began to feel like my old self again, the operative word here being “old.” At 36 years old, I would be considered a “high risk” pregnancy with all the complications I had with my first one. It was time for another family meeting.

Finding Theo - The Great Realization

Michael and I were joyful at the thought of a guaranteed son through adoption. After thorough research and a visit to Eastern in May 2004, we felt very confirmed in our decision to adopt. Although I had initially spoken with Duk Kyung Um of Dillon International in October of 2003, the actual paperwork began in June 2004. Our homestudy was already done by a local social worker at the time but before the final copy was sent to Dillon, Duk Kyung called us (on my birthday August 26 of all days!) to let us know there was a baby boy “waiting” for his forever family. His name was Seung Min, exactly the same as the Korean name my maternal grandfather had given me. My grandfather had thought I would be a boy and thus the masculine name, but what kismet that our adopted son was given the same name by his intake social worker.

Coming Home

There are too many wonderful details of our trip to Seoul. For Michael, it was a pilgrimage trip made in 14 years. For Harriet and me, we were there just 9 months ago to visit with Eastern, but it was even more meaningful this time around because we were there to meet the last member of our family. Theo’s homecoming brought members of my extended family out to meet him. On the last evening of our trip, we all went to dinner to the fanciest restaurant in Kang Nam where he was held by each person joyfully. Every single person seemed awed by the great courage and conviction Michael and I showed by adopting. To us, it seemed so easy. Not only does Theo have a wonderful disposition, he is a very handsome boy! On our flight home on Asiana Airlines, flight attendants came by and commented how beautiful our family was. They especially liked the fact that Harriet is the spitting image of her mother and Theo is that of his father.

Our story may end here for now but it really is just the beginning of a grand journey. All adoptive parents must know that we can only fulfill certain aspects of our adopted children’s lives. The rest is theirs to uncover as they must journey into an unknown past if they choose or deal with the ghosts of a birth family they will never know. Michael and I feel privileged to simply be his doting parents. We’d like to be good stewards of this blessed gift called parenthood to both our children adopted or not.

Theo plays with Harriet "Nuna"

Adoption Stories

admin — Fri, 01 May 2009 18:10:00 GMT

Some Korean-American Family Adoption Stories

Read about some Korean-American families that have adopted. Their adoption experiences are told here. They openly share how they came to adopt children and the difficulties they had to overcome. But above all, they share their gratitude and joys in adoption. (MPAK will gladly accept your experience if you have one to share)

Journey to Theo The Lee Family Aloha, Oregon	9/11 Story of Caleb The Huh Family Ramsey, New Jersey	Our Adoption Story The Pak Family Fresno, CA
The Gift from God The Kim Family Newbury Park, CA	Emma's Story The Lee Family Tustin Ranch, Calif.	Hannah - The Christmas Gift The Kim Family Cerritos, CA