Adoption in the USA

Hannah - Energizing Gift from God on Christmas

2009-05-19T22:35:00Z

Hannah – Energizing Gift from God on Christmas

K.C. and Susan Kim
Trabuco Canyon, California
(Adopted Through Eastern Social Welfare Society)

Hannah with her Daddy (K.C.) and
Mommy (Susan) at a park.

The Beginning
It was Jesus who moved our hearts towards adopting a child from Korea in the autumn of 1997. My wife, Susan, mentioned our decision to Mrs. Choi who was her business partner at that time. Mrs. Choi was very delighted and asked if she could refer us to an orphanage in Kim-hae, Korea. She told us about the director of the orphanage and we knew that Jesus put the first stepping-stone for us to move ahead with our adoption of a child. In December 1997 my wife and I went to Korea and visited the orphanage – it is called Bang Joo Won, meaning “The Ark of Noah”. When we talked with Mr. Yun, the director of Bang-Joo-Won, he asked one of the volunteers to bring in a girl named “Han-na” who was 5 years old. And there she was. The first thought I had when I saw her was “Now I am a father. She is my daughter.” I looked at my wife and she seemed to read my thought. After we came back to the States, we started the process to bring Han-na home.

Han-na’s Unusual Request
We went back to Korea to see Han-na in March 1998. We spent 3 days with Han-na in the hotel near bang Joo Won. One night Han-na asked if she could take another girl with her when she goes to America. Susan and I looked each other for a while and asked Han-na who she had in mind. She mentioned a name of a girl. My wife looked as if she was struck by a lightening and I was lost for words for a while. Han-na named the girl whom my wife wanted to adopt if I did not choose Han-na. We believed God was working mysteriously for us! I called the agency in Korea if we can take the other girl as well. I was told ”Of course NOT, Mr. Kim, unless they are siblings and don’t you think it’s kind of late to find out now?” I guess I was not thinking straight. Susan and I, however, knew that Han-na would have her sister.

The Name of “Hannah”
In May 1998 I attended a retreat called REM Weekend sponsored by RHEMA Mission in Los Angeles. When the speaker, Rev. Johannes Lee, explained the Name of Jesus and how important it is to realize the love of God and the power of His name, I came to think of the love of God and what I was doing for Han-na. I did not know God when He sent Jesus to save me; Han-na did not know me when God moved my heart to adopt her. Throughout the adoption process all my thoughts were focused on bringing Han-na home. I imagined that God was thinking the same – “Bring KC home. The only way to do so is to sacrifice my own Son Jesus for KC.” I was so filled with thankfulness that the only word I kept on saying was “God loves me. Thank you, Jesus.” Then, I had an answer why Jesus wanted me to adopt Hannah. In addition to helping a homeless child by providing her a home, God knew that I was so stubborn and selfish that the only way to break the barrier that stood in the way for a loving relationship with Jesus was through this adoption experience. Also it dawned upon me that as far as adopting Han-na was concerned, Jesus made me to realize that He is the one to be credited, not me. If there is any credit or praise, it all goes to Jesus. I thanked Jesus that I came to this retreat and learned “the Name of Jesus” as a powerful means in order to bring the best of Han-na, who would grow up with strong faith in Jesus. We named Han-na as “Hannah” because 1) it is a Korean version of “Hannah” and 2) we wanted her to be a woman who relies on prayers rather than on her own intellect or experience.

Hannah - The Christmas Gift from God
In late October 1998, we had a notice in our hands that Hannah was granted the visa to come to the States. But when we talked with the agency, it might not be possible for Hannah to come home due to the Korean government’s quota system that limits the number of children going abroad to be adopted. It’s kind of ridiculous system but we were not disappointed. Instead we started making calls to the agency and “Bang Joo Won” in Korea. I remember quite vividly the reaction of Mr. Yun, the director of Bang Joo Won, when I broke the news why I might not have Hannah in 1998. Three weeks later around the Thanksgiving Holiday, we received a notice from the agency that Hannah could leave Korea as soon as all the paper works are done and asked us to make an arrangement to escort her home. We knew what to do, of course. We sent two airplane tickets to Bang Joo Won; one for Hannah and the other for Mr. Yun. Hannah and Mr. Yun arrived at the Los Angeles airport on December 26^th, 1998. Hannah was the gift from God on Christmas. How mysterious but thoughtful my Father God in heaven works! My whole family, my parents and my sister’s family, went to the airport to meet Hannah. Due to the excitement of the whole event, I forgot my camera. But to my relief my father did remember to bring his own.

Watching Hannah Sleep
Hannah was kind of quiet for a couple of hours after her arrival. But once she found out she was surrounded by people who cared for her, her voice started rising, she played very energetically with her cousins and started demanding what she wanted. The first night came and I found myself not able to go to sleep but kept staring at Hannah who was sound asleep next to me. I am not sure what I was thinking but one thing I remember is that the adoption has become the reality. Maybe I was giving a silent prayer to Jesus, asking to give me the courage and wisdom to go through any difficulties marching down on me from this day on. One thing I noticed during my sleepless hours of “studying” Hannah was that she was snoring loud with half-opened eyes. Basically I was staring at her and she was staring at me in her sleep – “Why are you staring at me, Dad?”

Meeting Sam from Bang Joo Won
Mr. Yun was very happy during his 2-week stay with us at my house. We became very close like relatives, especially when we found out that Mr. Yun came from the same town where my father came from. Last January Susan visited Bang Joo Won and stayed there for 2 days with Mr. Yun’s family and the kids. During his stay with us, we visited San Jose to meet an adoptee named “Sam-sool” (his American name is “Sam”.) from Bang Joo Won 10 years ago. It was a very memorable trip. We arrived at Sam’s house on Dec 31^st, stayed over night and on Jan 1^st we exchanged the traditional Korean bow. Even though Sam did not speak Korean I could see in his eyes how grateful and happy to see his old orphanage director. Mr. Yun could not help but to weep from time to time after seeing how well Sam grew up in a good family. Sam showed great interest in Hannah and they played together like a brother and a sister for a while; one speaking Korean, the other speaking English. In the morning of January 1^st I felt very proud and privileged to be a Korean-American adoptive parent who adopted a Korean child. Wasn’t that a great way to start the first day of the year in the last 20^th century?

The Reality of Adoption
The first sign of difficulty shadowed on us about 2 months after Hannah cam home. Susan and I had a big fight over the way she handled Hannah. As a matter of fact, it was my fault after all. I should not have interfered when my wife tried to chide Hannah on what she did wrong. One thing led to another and Susan let out her emotion, which was built inside her regarding me, Hannah and of herself after Hannah’s arrival. Basically Susan was struggling with the changes brought into her life. As for me, I assumed that Susan was doing OK since she put her smile on her face. After an hour or so Susan and I were crying loud, holding together, saying, “I’m sorry.” to each other, and praying for each other. Hannah watched us silently the whole time. Later Hannah asked us about the incident. Susan told her what she went through after Hannah came home. I don’t think Hannah understood what Susan said but at least it was good for Hannah to see that her Mommy and Daddy resolved whatever that was bothering them through prayer at the end. The reality struck us quite hard at that time.

Observing Hannah
Hannah is now seven years old and growing taller and stronger. She is never shy, instead she charges toward an unknown territory. Several times she got notices from her teacher about bullying her friends and sometimes having fights with her friends. She is a very fast learner and she does not quite feel right if she does not lead on whatever she is doing. She loves to sing. She has a very good memory. She can sing quite a few gospels from her memory either in English or in Korean. As days go by, we are thrilled to learn more about Hannah – her ability to learn and respond to the world around her. Susan and I know that it is Jesus who is raising Hannah with His purpose. We, as Hannah’s parents, only show Hannah that Jesus is the one whom we love and trust most and that He is in charge of her life as He is in charge of ours.

Hannah’s Questions
I have been reading a book called “Making Sense of Adoption” for quite a while. It has become a guideline for my dealing with Hannah as far as adoption issues go. About four months ago, on a Sunday afternoon I explained to her how she joined to the family. She looked at me and asked who her birthmother was. I simply answered that we did not know because there was no record of it. She seemed to think about it for a couple of minutes and asked if I wanted to play Monopoly with her. In the evening Susan wondered what I said to Hannah. I told her what happened. She, then, understood why Hannah said that she loved her new mother very much even though she was not born of her. Hannah may have decided to put this sensitive issue aside until she would understand better. Last weekend Hannah suddenly said that she would like to have a baby boy from her mother so that she could take the baby in her arms. I carefully probed which mother she was referring to. (That was very silly of me, in fact.) She responded to my “dumb” question with a blank look – “What are you talking about, Dad?”

An Advocate of Adoption
Because of our adoption experience, one of my friends who has three sons asked a lot of questions about adoption. I told him my story and how I felt about adoption. I encouraged him to consider adoption more seriously. Although I had no intention from the beginning, but very naturally I found myself becoming an advocate for adoption, especially adoption of Korean children from Korea. There is no doubt in my mind that nothing is more blessed than providing a home for a child with the love of Jesus. I am very glad that I found MPAK where I can share my struggles and get encouragements from the other Korean-American families that have adopted just like me. Thank you, Jesus. I know You always lead my way.

Emma's Story

2009-05-19T22:32:00Z

Emma's Story

by Charles and Hedy Lee

Tustin Ranch, California

(Adopted Through Eastern Social Welfare Society)

You may visit the Lee family's website and view many pictures and
other beautiful writings by Charles and Hedy Lee at:
http://members.cox.net/charleslee/

Charles, Emma, and Hedy Lee
How Happy We Are!

The Bold Announcement
These are the amazing events that that brought Emma into our lives and changed our lives forever. Our decision to adopt was not an easy one. We experienced all the pre-adoptions fears and concerns that most couples do. Being of a culture [Korean] that does not yet view adoption as being socially acceptable, added to our fears and concerns.

Rather than veil our decision behind a cloak of secrecy, we came out and surprised many of our friends by sharing our testimony in front of everyone at our [Korean-American] Church. We boldly announced that God had blessed us with a child named Emma. By sharing our hopes and fears, we felt an incredible sense of peace. We were amazed by the support and affirmation we received. Fate [God] would have it, we were able to share this news with not only our congregation, but with a visiting contingent of Trans-generational pastors and laity representing Korean-American Churches throughout the country.

The First Encounter
We flew to Korea and met Emma for the first time on August 19, 1999. We had the opportunity to spend 7 wonderful days as a complete family. This was the most memorable week in all my life. Hedy remained in Korea with Emma awaiting visa approval. Unfortunately I had to return home alone without my family. But on the flight back home, I had a chance to reflect on what I had just experienced. Here are my reflections of the first encounter that was published in an article in the Lively Word.

Finally Home
The days apart seemed like an eternity, but finally Hedy and Emma home to the United States on October 18, 1999. Every day now is filled with incredible joy. With that joy, we feel an incredible responsibility and a commission to raise Emma in a purposeful way. This was the expression of joy and the covenant we made with Emma and God.

Encouraging Others to Adopt
In retrospect, we wish that we had come to the decision sooner. We would encourage anyone in the 'considering stages' of adoption to be Bold and take that leap of faith. Create a more loving family by adopting a beautiful child of God. Your lives will be forever changed in the most spectacular way. We have never been so happy nor felt so blessed. We cannot imagine loving a child more than we love our Emma.

Grace & Peace,

Charles & Hedy Lee

A Wish for Emma

Emmanuel – “God with us.”

Thank you Emma for coming into our lives and bringing to us…

Your sweet smile,

Your adorable giggles & wiggles and

Your kissable cheeks.

Thank you for allowing us to watch you …

Kick up your legs in the morning,

Squirm as we wipe your face,

Splash water during your bath and

Snort as you chow down your meals.

Thank you for being …

Mommy’s new best friend and

Daddy’s little girl.

Thank you God for …

Hearing our silent cries,

Erasing the pain,

Filling the emptiness and

Always being faithful.

You are the most precious gift that we could have ever received. We know that this earthly life is short and that any day may be our last, so we will celebrate each morning with a new day song and give thanks for the gift of life as the day ends.

This is our promise to you. With God’s help we will work lifelong to …

Put Jesus into your heart,

Instill in you Confidence to face the challenges that life brings and

Reveal to you a Purpose for living.

Love & Prayers,

Mommy and Daddy

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of Wisdom.” Proverbs 9:10

Only by the divine hand of God could He transform the tragic breakup of one family into bring the greatest joy to another. It is only through God’s intervention that a soul destined to be intertwined with ours is miraculously united. It is only by the grace of God that we are able to experience these emotions that we would have missed had we not met her.

The Gift from God

2009-05-19T22:24:00Z

The Gift from God

by Do Yoon and Vivian Kim

Westlake Village, California
(Adopted Through Holt Children's Services)

Do Yoon and Vivian, holding Emrys, with her foster mother in Korea

My Early Thoughts on Adoption
It was on our third date when I asked my wife-to-be what she thought of adoption. I had been toying with the idea for several years. After I finished college, I went back home to find a job and get involved with the local church that my parents attended. For five years, I served as a youth leader, providing sermons, talks, ski trips, camping trips and organizing all kinds of activities that would broaden young peoples experience socially, emotionally, and most of all spiritually. One thing I learned from this experience was that no body has a greater impact on children than the parents. The parents have so much opportunity to spend quantity and quality time with their children, that it is inevitable that they provide the greatest influence. I thought perhaps, instead of trying to provide a little help to many people, that I should try to provide a lot of help to a few people. That’s when I started to think about adoption. I made no plans, except to keep an open mind.

Common Goals and Outlooks in Life
By our third date, I really wanted to know what kind of a person Vivian was. So as a kind of test question, I asked her about adoption. To my surprise she told me that she too had been considering adoption for several years. In fact, she had told her mother that if she was not married by the age of 30 that she would be adopting a child. I quickly realized that we both had common goals and outlooks in life. We were married 8 months later.

The Beginning - Asking the Same Questions
It wasn’t that either of us couldn’t have children. We were both tested by several doctors and every time they would tell us. “everything looks okay, its just a matter of time.” We were hoping to have our biological child first before we would adopt. But seeing that it was taking time, we decided to go ahead and start the adoption process. The initial phase was tedious, endless paperwork, everything seemed so foreign and distant. It wasn’t until we were assigned a baby that we felt that this was for real. It so happened that my brother had his third son right about the same time. I was a bit surprised that all though I was adopting and he wasn’t, we had most of the same concerns. Will they be healthy, will they grow up to be rebellious, will they be “normal”, and most of all will they grow up to be God fearing. Many of the same worries and concerns because life makes no guarantees.

Emrys and her Daddy in the airplane ride home

First Meeting of Our Daughter Emrys
When I saw Emrys for the first time in Korea, I was expecting a surge of emotions to overwhelm me. However, I still didn’t feel like she was ours until we brought her home. After spending several full days with her, I learned to bond with her more and more. I feel that I love her more and more each day. I am so enamored by her smile and googly sounds that I yearn to get home right away after work to be with her.

Proud Grandparents
When we first told our parents about our interest in adopting, they all expressed some concerns. They never objected or discouraged us, but tried to warn us about all the potential problems we would be facing. Once they fully accepted the idea, they have been so supportive. They like to show off our Emrys to their friends and they are so willing to baby sit for us. It shows in their eyes, they are proud to be her grand parents.

My Message to Korean Christians
Ephesians 1:5 of the Bible tells us that when we become Christians, we are adopted as sons of Jesus Christ into the family of God. When we adopt, we are sharing in the love that God has shown us. It is unfortunate that there are so many Christians in Korea and yet there is such a strong negative attitude towards adoption. I know that Koreans value their genetic heritage. But when we have the opportunity to provide a home for a child, why can’t we broaden our hearts and be more accepting. I am not trying to say that adoption is for everyone. But for those that have the capacity to adopt, I hope social pressures will not stop a child from finding a home.

The Gift From God
Her English name is Emrys, meaning: gift from God. Her Korean name is Aejin, meaning: true love. We find both her names so fitting. More than helping a child in need of a family, Emrys is truly a blessing to us from God.

Our Adoption Story

2009-05-19T22:17:00Z

Our Adoption Story

by Susan Pak

Fresno, California

(Adopted Through Holt Children's Services)

The Pak Family Enjoys an Outing at Lake Tahoe, California
(From Left to Right: John, Sara, Susan)

The Early Dreams

By the time I was in college, I had my life all mapped out. I would get my career established within 5

years of graduating and then get married by age 25 and have my first child by age 30. I was one year late getting married but didn’t mind as I was sure I found in John, the right person to spend the rest of my life with. After a couple years of setting up house and getting our business started, we were ready to start on our family.

Our Trials

When we didn’t succeed after a year and half of trying, we became concerned and decided to see our respective doctors to find out what the problem could be. We were very disappointed to find out that we couldn't have children. The response of family members and friends ranged from “I’m so sorry” to “Maybe this is God’s way of telling you that you shouldn’t have children” or “we will have a baby for you and then give it to you to adopt”. Of course no one meant to be hurtful or insensitive but their comments did nothing to lessen our grief.

Decision to Adopt

My husband at this point became very depressed and felt that I should make the decision as to what to do. He said that he would support my decision whatever it was. I felt my only option was to adopt. How could I tell my child that their biological father was their uncle or family friend? I wanted a closed adoption from Korea. I knew there were many children in Korea up for adoption. I had met Caucasian families who had adopted Korean children and I also had a good friend who had an adopted sister who looked just like her 5 brothers and sisters. I had a good feeling about adopting and the more I thought about it, the more it felt right.

After making this decision, we broke the news to our family of our plans. Their concerns were justified - what if there was something wrong with the birthparents? - what if they were not smart or attractive? - but they didn’t diminish our growing excitement of soon having a child in our arms. Our siblings were very supportive - more so than our parents. My mother one day was listening to a radio broadcast on a Korean station out of Los Angeles and heard Steve Morrison an adult adoptee talking about his experiences with adoption and of the Christian philosophy of Holt International Children’s Services. My mother was impressed with the program and called me right away to give me the contact information. Prior to this, we were thinking about using another agency that our friends used for an adoption that was not finalized because the wife became pregnant. It turned out that the other agency did not have a social worker who worked in our area so we would have to commute back and forth to Valencia - a 3 hour drive - for all the meetings. The staff at Holt International assured us that they had a social worker available in Fresno and sent us all the necessary documents to begin our application.

Holt Picnic

We were disappointed to learn that there was a requirement that a couple needed to be married a minimum of 3 years to apply for an adoption from Korea so we were not able to begin for another few months. We did however start getting our papers together and attended a Holt picnic in Orange County where we were able to meet Steve, Grandma Holt and some adoptive parents who encouraged us with their stories. Most had their healthy children arrive home at the age of 3-6 months old and were very happy with the service provided by Holt. The babies and older children there at the picnic were beautiful and seemed to enjoy their families and yet maintained ties to their culture through events such as this picnic.

The Process Started

After we celebrated our 3^rd anniversary in November of 1995, we formally sent in our application papers. We had no idea how much work was involved and had a few complications such as when we discovered that John did not have a naturalization certificate from when he became a citizen with his parents, and when his fingerprints had to be redone 3 times. Some of the friends we had asked to write a referral for us did not see our urgency and took their time getting them written and sent in to the agency. These setbacks were discouraging but we were still excited with the thought of a child in our home and proceeded to start decorating the nursery and planning the purchase of all the necessary baby items such as highchair, stroller, car seat, etc.

Our home study was completed and in August of 1996 we received our referral and the first photos of our lovely baby girl! The timing couldn’t have been better. John’s family had come to visit us on their way to a church camp meeting when the envelope arrived. We all fell in love with the picture of the one week old baby with her wrinkled up little face and clenched fists. My mother in law declared that she looked a lot like John did as an infant and when she saw that the name on file was Park, Mee Hwa felt that it was a sign that she was meant to be with us. We decided her name would be Sara Michelle, a name chosen by our niece, Kristin. My sister in law who was a pediatrician looked over her file and expressed some concern over an entry of Hepatitis and advised us to have it checked out. We had asked for a healthy child and so called the agency to have it verified that the entry of Hepatitis was in fact an error and not a diagnosis. The agency told us that they were pretty sure it was a clerical error and should have been in the treatment column as a vaccination given to the child but we requested a blood test be done to verify this. Sure enough the test confirmed that she was healthy and had no signs of Hepatitis.

THE CALL

A few more months passed and we grew more anxious to hear of our baby’s travel plans but kept ourselves busy preparing for the Thanksgiving holiday. Our families traveled from Southern California to be with us and we had much to celebrate and be thankful for. The Monday following the Holiday John had gone to work when the phone rang. A thought flashed through my mind that this could be THE CALL. I picked up the phone to hear our social worker, Phil’s voice telling me that travel plans were finalized and our baby would arrive at San Francisco airport in a week. I called John right away and all our friends and family members with the exciting news. John’s brother, Ken, and sister in law, Junghee agreed to come with us to San Francisco. We decided to spend the night near the airport so we wouldn’t be late meeting the flight. We carefully loaded the car seat into our truck and packed our baby bag with Sara’s first bottle, diapers, formula, changes of clothes and small toys.

The First Meeting of Our New Baby

I cannot describe my feelings as I first saw her in the stroller being pushed by the greeter, Sister Ellen, who met us at the airport. John and I embraced from our viewpoint on the upper level of the airport and tears filled my eyes as I realized that this was not a dream and that the 6 month old baby calmly looking around from her stroller was really our own. It only took several minutes for them to clear customs and soon the baby was in my arms. She didn’t cry or seem distressed at all. We seemed to fit as a family right away. After the necessary paperwork and meeting and thanking the escort, we headed home to start our life together as a family.

One Happy Family Now

Now that 3 years have passed since Sara’s arrival into our lives, its hard to imagine life without her. Yes, there were some hard times at first adjusting to each other - different but not more than what any other new parents might face. She has now grown into a beautiful girl, affectionate, playful and the light of our lives. She has brought so much pride and joy not only to John and I but to our extended family as well who also love her and realize how special she is. There are times when we are confronted with remarks regarding her adoption such as unsolicited advice not to talk to her about how she came into our family, and questions about her “real” parents from well meaning family and friends. We do our best to educate them on our philosophy of parenting and how we want Sara to know and be proud of who she is and where she came from. Instead of hiding her past and making it something to be ashamed of, we want to teach her how to accept it and deal with those who don’t understand or share our same views. We show her pictures of her foster family who loved and cared for her for her first 6 months and who regularly send her gifts on her Birthday and at Christmas. We read her adoption stories such as “Katie Bo” and “Tell me again about the night I was born”. We meet with and correspond with other families brought together through adoption - some with Korean parents and others with Caucasian parents.

Another One On The Way?

Lately, Sara has been asking for a baby sister or brother. We plan to accommodate her by next year.

I can't wait for my Dong Seng!

9/11 Story of Caleb

2009-05-19T22:06:00Z

9/11 Story of Caleb

Written by: Min Huh (Ramsey, New Jersey)
(Adopted through Holt in March 2003)

Caleb's 1st Birthday Party

The Seed of 9/11 Event

September 11^th 2001 was just another beautiful day in the fall. I drove to the gym after I had dropped off my girls at their school. The TV in the lobby had the news on about the World Trade Center being accidentally hit by a plane. I peered over in amazement, but went downstairs to my yoga class without much thought. After about an hour of exercise, as I was coming up the stairs to the lobby, feeling refreshed, then I saw a bunch of people huddling together and sobbing in terror. On TV, they were showing the building on fire and presenting the news in an impending tone. They said it was a terrorist act. People on Wall Street were running around covered with dust, and in the background, I could hear the sounds of explosion, screaming and horror. I thought to myself, “this must be what it would look like at the end of the time”. I felt as if all the sounds were fading out and everything around me was paralyzing.

It was a tragedy where everything America had been so proud of was taken away in an instant. It was a time when even the most secular Americans came together in prayers. The pain and sadness was too much for me to bear. How could so many lives be taken away just like that? On that bright, sunny morning in the fall…on the way to the glamorous work places in the financial district… Who would have thought, ‘I’m going to die today’? During the meeting, in the middle of a phone call, while having a cup of coffee… They lost their lives in the confusion of the moment. How tragic and mortifying it is! I cried out to God. I was devastated by the sinfulness of human beings. In fear, I opened up the book of Jeremiah. God gave so many warnings to the Israelites, but they didn’t turn away from their sinful ways and were destroyed. I realized that we were exactly like the Israelites. I kneeled down before God. I couldn’t live with only selfish motivations anymore.

MPAK and the Decision to Adopt
Ever since we were first married, my husband and I have been living a very comfortable life. Then in 1996, we faced financial and emotional difficulties. Those painful and humbling times led us back to God. Since then, through His grace, we became even more prosperous both financially and spiritually. We became active in helping others around us and made an effort to live kindly and humbly. However, after the 9/11 tragedy, I realized that giving without disturbing our comfort level was such a deceitful behavior. I felt ashamed reflecting on myself, continuously trying to fill my life with things of the world: bigger house, better vacations, better cars…etc. It all seemed senseless. I felt like God was saying to me, “You must share more. All that I have given you is not yours to keep, and you are only my steward”.

I discussed this thought with my husband and we decided to look for something that we could do, not only financially, but also with time and effort as a family. During my research, I learned about adoption. I was impressed to find out that there are so many people who adopt homeless children into their families.

The more research I did, my focus was moving more towards adoption. Even when I was watching a movie, reading a book, or listening to a sermon, I found myself relating everything to adoption. Then one day, I stumbled onto MPAK (Mission to Promote Adoption in Korea) website. I was surprised to find out that there were families who adopted openly in the Korean society. I was deeply impressed and challenged by Mr. Steve Morrison, founder of MPAK and Mrs. Han Yun-Hee’s (President of MPAK Korea) vision and courage. I experienced the moment of epiphany. I said, “Aha! This is it! I should adopt!”

I had always wished for one more child, perhaps a son… but on the other hand, my girls were getting bigger and I was so close to being free from child rearing. However, while praying, it became clear that adoption was the greatest idea I have ever had in my life. I asked my husband “Should we adopt our third child?” and he said, “Shall we?” I was so surprised by his reaction. My husband’s positive reaction made me even more enthused, and I started to study more about adoption. Adoption is another way of building a family, and a wonderful way to provide loving families to those children without one. Every child has the right to be loved and have a family. And, for me, I could have a son without having to give birth, and be a parent to a child who needs a family. I thought I could help give a child the rights and to love him as my own. But, then I honestly questioned myself, “Would I really be able to love a child who is not related to me whatsoever?” Suddenly, I was not so sure anymore. I was so confused and nervous. I didn’t know if it was the right thing to do. Even with my two daughters, I have such difficult time parenting them. But, how would I handle a child who is not even my own, whom I didn’t give birth to? I thought to myself, “If I can’t be a good parent to the baby, it may be better off not to adopt at all.”

I wanted my husband to make the final decision for me. I pressed on him for a decision day and night. Maybe I was hoping for him to strongly oppose. If I face his opposition, I may give up, I thought.

In the midst of all that, we went to a family retreat in May 2002 where I came to realize that I was made to be the passage of God’s blessings. God has been so great to me and the blessings are not only for me to enjoy but to be shared and spread through me. Who shall I share the fullness of blessings with? Through prayer, God revealed to me that it would be the child I would adopt.

When will I ever be completely ready to do God’s work? I just needed to trust in Him and let God fulfill all that is needed. I could finally make the decision with confidence and joy. I planned on talking with my husband about my decision when we returned home. To my amazement, on our way home, my husband said he wanted to go ahead with the adoption. He told me that he saw a vision of an infant wrapped in a blanket while he was praying the night before, and it touched his heart. He realized that it must be God’s will for us to adopt. I thanked God, who was so delicate in answering to our prayers according to our own traits– to me, the logical one- with his words, and to my husband, to whom emotion is very important – with the vision. As soon as we got home that day, we completed and sent in the adoption application.

Finding Caleb
On the application, I wrote “a healthy baby boy under the age of one”. With a note saying that I could consider treatable disease or conditions. In the Holt Waiting Child program, there were many babies with medical conditions, in a sibling group or who passed age one. Those children have even less chance of being adopted. I felt guilty that I only wanted a healthy baby myself. I couldn’t help but to pray for those babies in the waiting. I also began to pray for the baby who will be our son and for his birth mother. I don’t remember praying with such sincere heart about anything else in my life. I knew I was too sinful and weak that I couldn’t count on myself to love this baby, but only to trust God that He would grant me the love and compassion that will be needed.

On the last day of home study, I saw a photo of a baby in the Waiting Child web page. Although he was born two weeks premature and his birthmother had some symptoms before pregnancy, the baby seemed pretty healthy. I asked the Social Worker about the baby and through the Holt office in Oregon, we were able to receive information on the baby and his birth parents by fax. As I expected, the baby was healthy and normal. I could see that the baby already had masculine facial features, which reminded me of my husband. The story of his birth parents was more heartbreaking than we had imagined. We were reminded that there are so many people in the world who are in painful and difficult situations, and we were saddened by it. We found no reason to refuse the baby, but we were scared to make the decision. How could we make a decision of this magnitude so quickly? We were not ready.

I couldn’t sleep at all, and I called Mrs. Han of MPAK in Korea. I was looking for support and affirmation to make the life-altering decision. I didn’t know where to turn to. I was very nervous and scared. When I went downstairs early next morning, my husband said to me, “Let’s adopt this boy.” That same morning, we went to see our pediatrician and consulted whether the symptoms of the birth mother would have any effect on the baby. We weren’t looking for an excuse to give up, but to begin the process of preparation. No matter what the outcome, in our hearts, he was already our son.

The Holt officers said the decision-making committee met twice a month. Later on, we received a phone call. The committee agreed unanimously for our adoption, but they had one last question. “Are you going to tell the child that he was adopted? What will you tell your friends and family? Some of the committee members mentioned that Koreans like to keep adoption secret.” I was surprised to hear such a question. I never expected to be representing all the Koreans.

“Yes, I’m going to tell my son that he was adopted. I will tell him that we became a family through love. And, yes, a lot of Korean people tend to keep things like divorce, adoption, or disabilities a secret, because Koreans are very private people. But today many Korean families are sharing their adoption stories with others to raise awareness of adoption in Korea and amongst Korean Americans, thanks to efforts of organizations like MPAK.”

For the next few months, we spent our time preparing documents and learning to become adoptive parents. We hardly could wait until the day that our baby would arrive. During this time, I was able to resolve a lot of issues within myself and found peace and courage

The Best Valentine's Day Gift
On February 14, I received the best Valentine’s Day gift: the news that our son Jaewon will be traveling to come home. I was thrilled and got busy getting ready for our new baby. On Friday the 28th, my husband came home with Jaewon in his arms. He was asleep, and he seems so small and beautiful. I cried, “Finally you are home! I’ve waited so long!” He opened his eyes and started to cry, but when I held him close, he was comforted and stopped crying. He must’ve recognized his mommy. The pastor from our church visited late that night to bless our new baby and our family. It was difficult for all of us to sleep that night. It was such an emotional night: the girls were ecstatic, the baby was feeling unfamiliar in his new home and my husband and I were so grateful that he finally came home.

This was how the story of our adoption began.

I feel inadequate to write this story and reveal so much of myself. Everyone likes to reminisce about special memories, and one day I also wish to share this story in every detail with my son, Jaewon. On that note, I wish to share with you the beautiful blessings of adoption

Caleb in his tradional Korean outfit on his 1st birthday

Journey to Theo (Tae Oh) - A Great Realization

2009-05-19T19:41:00Z

Journey to Theo (Tae Oh) - A Great Realization

Written by: Michelle Seungmin Lee (Aloha, Oregon)
(Adopted through Dillon/Eastern in November 2004)

Theo's (left) Family Picture

The Beginning of the Journey

When Michael and I got married, we dreamed of starting our family as the next natural course of action. Five years into our marriage and living in San Francisco, where fertility treatments and adoption were equally accepted ways to build a family, we were presented with options we never thought we’d have to consider. Our first generation Korean American parents (both sides) felt choosing a method that would produce a biological child was best. They never gave adoption much consideration. Michael and I, on the other hand, thought adoption was just as viable, given that more research and planning needed to be done.

Long discussions and debates ensued as to whether we should begin looking into adoption or fertility treatments. It was decided that after a thorough physical examination by our doctors to deem us fit to be parents, we would then decide. My Ob-Gyn recommended that I come in for a battery of tests to find any blockages in my fallopian tubes. The tests alone made me lean more toward adoption. They were invasive, uncomfortable and quite time consuming. It was after these tests that I got pregnant.

I was a second grade teacher in a prominent independent school of Oakland Hills where diversity was its mantra. The second grade curriculum included a month long unit on celebrating the many diverse family configurations in our community. In the second grade alone, there were single, bi-racial, and adoptive families. It was a way to teach our students that families come in all different sizes, memberships, and colors. It made me take a hard look at our own situation. The dream of having two children of our own, shattered by difficulty conceiving, led me to think that we were meant for more than the conventional way of building a family. Michael and I were heterogeneous by sex yet homogeneous down to our last names (We are both Lee’s). Both Korean by decent, both families very well educated and well to do, I thought, my child would have nothing to share in a celebration of family diversity.

Harriet (Hae Ri) was born in January of 2003, a healthy baby girl. We couldn’t be happier. I, on the other hand, suffered a great deal physically from the pregnancy. I was having a hard time “getting back on my feet” after the birth. It dawned upon me that the key to raising a healthy family is to be a healthy happy parent. When Harriet was about 9 months old, I slowly began to feel like my old self again, the operative word here being “old.” At 36 years old, I would be considered a “high risk” pregnancy with all the complications I had with my first one. It was time for another family meeting.

Finding Theo - The Great Realization

Michael and I were joyful at the thought of a guaranteed son through adoption. After thorough research and a visit to Eastern in May 2004, we felt very confirmed in our decision to adopt. Although I had initially spoken with Duk Kyung Um of Dillon International in October of 2003, the actual paperwork began in June 2004. Our homestudy was already done by a local social worker at the time but before the final copy was sent to Dillon, Duk Kyung called us (on my birthday August 26 of all days!) to let us know there was a baby boy “waiting” for his forever family. His name was Seung Min, exactly the same as the Korean name my maternal grandfather had given me. My grandfather had thought I would be a boy and thus the masculine name, but what kismet that our adopted son was given the same name by his intake social worker.

Coming Home

There are too many wonderful details of our trip to Seoul. For Michael, it was a pilgrimage trip made in 14 years. For Harriet and me, we were there just 9 months ago to visit with Eastern, but it was even more meaningful this time around because we were there to meet the last member of our family. Theo’s homecoming brought members of my extended family out to meet him. On the last evening of our trip, we all went to dinner to the fanciest restaurant in Kang Nam where he was held by each person joyfully. Every single person seemed awed by the great courage and conviction Michael and I showed by adopting. To us, it seemed so easy. Not only does Theo have a wonderful disposition, he is a very handsome boy! On our flight home on Asiana Airlines, flight attendants came by and commented how beautiful our family was. They especially liked the fact that Harriet is the spitting image of her mother and Theo is that of his father.

Our story may end here for now but it really is just the beginning of a grand journey. All adoptive parents must know that we can only fulfill certain aspects of our adopted children’s lives. The rest is theirs to uncover as they must journey into an unknown past if they choose or deal with the ghosts of a birth family they will never know. Michael and I feel privileged to simply be his doting parents. We’d like to be good stewards of this blessed gift called parenthood to both our children adopted or not.

Theo plays with Harriet "Nuna"

The Gathering of the Seeds from the East

2009-05-18T22:02:00Z

The Gathering of the Seeds from the East

(A speech by Stephen C. Morrison, given at the Korean Ambassador’s Residence
during the International Gathering of Korean Adoptees, Washington D.C., 9/11/1999)

The Honorable Dr. Lee Hong-koo and the people of Korea, and to all of the distinguished guests and friends, I thank you for the special hospitality you have extended to all the adoptees and families of the “Gathering”.

The word “Gathering” holds a special significance for me. Over forty years ago when Mr. Harry Holt, the founder of Holt International Children’s Services, Inc. was on his way to Korea to adopt eight children, he was beset by doubts and worry. He wasn’t sure whether what he was about to do was from God. Being a Godly man, he prayed and God led him to the verse in Isaiah 43:5, which states, “Fear not for I am with thee; I will bring thy seeds from the east, and gather thee from the west.” Mr. Ambassador, today in the west, you are witnessing this remarkable “Gathering” of those seeds from the east.

Excellency, what thoughts do you have as you see all of us gathered here? Just who are we? And how should we view ourselves and our adoption experience? No words can truly express how many of us feel regarding our adoption experience. We did not choose our beginnings. We did not choose to be abandoned. We did not choose to be orphans. We did not choose to live in orphanages. And we did not choose to be adopted!

However, God gave these things to us for reasons we don’t fully understand. We can’t change our past. We must accept things given to us, past and present, and move on. But one thing is clear. Though we didn’t choose our humble beginnings, we have been given the opportunity to choose our future. We can choose our dreams. We can choose our destiny. God has given us the freedom. But above all He has given us families. This is truly what adoption has allowed us to have.

Mr. Ambassador, we would like to thank the Korean Government and the people of Korea for letting us go. We would like to thank Korea for the opportunities given to us to build our dreams here. Many of us would have been unable to reach goals and live fulfilling lives had we remained in Korea. Lastly, we want to thank you tonight for listening to all of us. May God bless you.

- Stephen C. Morrison

An Adoptee's Perspective in Korean Adoption

2009-05-18T21:59:00Z

An Adoptee's Perspective in Korean Adoption

By Stephen C. Morrison (Choi Suk Choon, USA)

Introduction

It gives me a great pleasure and honor to speak before you in this joyous occasion to celebrate and promote adoption in Korea with all of you. Specifically I would like to thank the Korea Social Welfare Society's President Kim Myung Woo, Director Ms. Kang Young Nim and the staff members at SWS for inviting me to this place of honor. I would also like to thank the Korean Government's involvement in this occasion as well.

My Family

My Korean name is Choi Suk Choon. I grew up in the Holt Children's Center at Il-San, Korea and was adopted by a wonderful family when I was fourteen years old. I am now a grown man with a family of my own. My adoptive parents, Mr. & Mrs. John Morrison, loved me very much. Despite the fact that they had three of their own biological children (two daughters and one son), they adopted two children from Korea. Under their care and love, I was raised with Christian values and learned what it means to have a family. By observing them, I learned what parental love was all about. Especially, my father was a role model for me to follow into my manhood. He taught me what it means to be a gentleman. He also taught me what it means to be a good father and a husband. I shall never forget the time when my father told me, "Steve, I have made some very good and important decisions in my life. The best decision was to believe in God. The second best decision was to marry your mother. And the third best decision was to have you in our family."

My Vision

During the past four years, I have given many testimonies at various Korean churches regarding my adoption experience, and shared the love I have received from my parents and from God. Through such speaking events I have tried to be an instrument to give God the glory, and to open up the Korean hearts for homeless children by promoting adoption in the Korean community. I have tried to be a voice on behalf of homeless children. My conviction is that the time has come for Koreans to open up their hearts to adopt homeless Korean children. In order for them to do this, their hearts and attitudes towards the orphans need to change. I have spoken to remove the social stigma attached to orphans and adoptees. As a Christian, I have especially tried to reach out to the Korean Christians to look at such children with the compassion that Christ felt for them. In Mark 9:37, Jesus said, "Whoever welcomes the least of these children in my name welcomes me." My desire is that the Korean government will take the leadership role in promoting adoption of Korean children into Korean homes. I really believe the day will come when Korean families will adopt all the Korean orphans. This is my passion. This is my vision.

Founded Mission to Promote Adoption in Korea (MPAK)

In view of this, I have established an organization called "Mission to Promote Adoption in Korea (MPAK), with a web site address at: www.mpak.com. MPAK was found to promote adoption in Korea by:

1) Advocating the needs of homeless children in Korea.

2) Removing the negative social stigma attached to homeless children and adoptees.

3) Enabling Koreans to overcome fear in adoption.

4) Encouraging Koreans to adopt openly and not secretly.

In my opinion, Koreans practicing secret adoption for fear of what others might say to them and to their children is the biggest barrier in promoting adoption in Korea. Unless Koreans have positive attitudes toward adoption and adopt them as openly as in the western world, there will continue to be children without homes in Korea. I believe the time has come for Koreans to open up their hearts and homes to homeless children.

My Answers to Criticism in Foreign Adoption

Many Koreans have demanded to discontinue the foreign adoption, stating that it is a national shame. Myself and thousands of adoptees who have found homes will testify that we are grateful that Korea let us go. We are grateful that we were given second chances. We are grateful that we no longer are homeless and have families of our own. For the Korean Government to continue to allow the foreign adoption, it is showing the "national courage of care" rather than "national shame". The real national shame is when children are kept in orphanages and their opportunity to have families is blocked.

My Request to Koreans

In order for adoption to become acceptable, Korean hearts and attitudes toward the orphans and adoptees must change. Koreans need to treat orphans like fellow human beings rather than treat them like objects. People must stop using unkind expressions such as "a thing picked up from under a bridge". Also, I do not appreciate when Koreans speak of us adoptees as exported items. We are people too. We have feelings and sense of human dignity and pride. We must learn to respect the rights of children who did not choose to become orphans nor was it their fault to be homeless.

As for adoptees, I would like to say to all the Koreans that we do not need your pity and sympathy. We have families of our own. We are healthy, we are well educated, we have jobs, and we are contributing members to our society. It is those remaining homeless children in Korea that need your pity and sympathy. It is those children that need your love and care, and your homes. Please do not feel sorry or embarrassed that Korea could not take care of us by sending us abroad. Instead, we are truly grateful for your actions because many of us have found homes and experienced the love that shaped our lives in profound ways.

My Request to the Korean Government

In my effort to promote Korean adoption during the past four years, I have met many Korean families who were willing to adopt homeless children from Korea. However many Korean families were turned away because they didn't meet the age requirement. I have noticed that approximately 30 percent of the Koreans who wanted to adopt were beyond the age limit of 44, and could not qualify to adopt children. Also, I have noticed that approximately 35 percent of the Koreans wanted older children who are five years old and over. But they couldn't adopt since Korea sends abroad infants only.

I would like to ask the Korean government to reconsider the age restriction, and also to reconsider the age of children who are being sent abroad. I would like to ask the Korean government to extend a special privilege to Koreans living in America and in Korea so that there will be more Koreans who will qualify to adopt and make available to them older children as well.

Propose Month of Adoption in Korea

I once had a dream where I read a big banner hanging from a tall building in Seoul that said, "November is The Month of Adoption." In America we celebrate the month of November as the Month of Adoption. I would like to propose to the Korean Government to institute "The Month of Adoption" in Korea as well. It doesn't have to be in November. It doesn't have to last a month. "The Day of Adoption" is appropriate as well. Perhaps the month of May is appropriate with family related days consisting of "Children's Day" and "Mother's Day". If Korea designates a day or a month to celebrate and promote adoption, I will wholeheartedly support its effort establish such day.

Closing Thoughts

I wish to express to you how proud and grateful I am to have a Korean heritage. I am proud of the fact that my root points to the nation that has 5000 years of rich culture and heritage. I can speak the Korean language fluently now. I can read well and write with some difficulty. I am especially proud of the Korean Government's policies toward the homeless children in Korea. I am very grateful that the Korean Government has allowed thousands of homeless children to have homes of their own in the United States and elsewhere in the world.

When Mr. Harry Holt and his wife Bertha sold their farm and lumber business in Oregon in 1956 and began the legacy to find homes for the needy children in Korea, their vision was that "Every Child Deserves a Home of His Own." I am very grateful that Korea shared the same vision throughout all these years. We can have the same vision in Korea today. We must because children depend on us. Praying that more and more Koreans will reach out and adopt homeless children in the future... I thank you again for this privilege to speak to you. Thank you.

My Family (L to R): Steve, Helen(2), Jody, Margaret (Mother), John(Father), Kay (2 mos. not shown)

How can I remove Fear in Adoption for Koreans?

2009-05-17T22:30:00Z

1. I cannot accept and love a child who wasn't born from me. This is probably the most common reason why people do not adopt. People have difficulty in accepting a child who does not belong to them biologically. However, the beauty of adoption is that it is done by your choice. It is not forced upon you. From a Christian perspective, I really believe God has intended some children to be brought into this world as orphans, but to be loved and cared by other loving families. I don't fully understand the reasons behind why God does what He does. But I take comfort from the Scripture. In Isaiah 43:7 God said, "...I have created them for my glory..."

God may use a particular woman to bring a child into the world, but He has planned the child to be loved and cared by another family for His glory. We don't fully understand the mysteries behind why God would allow some children to suffer and expect us to believe they were created for His glory. But we have to trust in His infinite wisdom. In Mark 9:37 Jesus said, "Whoever welcomes the least of these children in my name welcomes me also..." Although Jesus never commanded Christians to adopt children, but this statement by Jesus clearly indicates how He will be pleased if Christian families adopt a homeless children. I see in the eyes of those homeless children the very eyes of Jesus Christ. It may be God's will for you to help those children. If you do not have a biological child, there may be a reason why God hasn't allowed you to have one. This is not a curse, but a blessing in disguise. Perhaps God has a child somewhere waiting for you. This child is waiting to call you Mom and Dad. Perhaps God wishes for you to adopt a child in His name and give God the glory through that child.

2. I have a biological child already. I am afraid I cannot love an adopted child as much as my own child.

I have heard this statement many times coming from Koreans who agree in principle the virtues of adoption, but could not bring themselves to adopt children for the fear they may not be able to love adopted children as much as their own biological children. This concern is very honest and genuine. It is natural and understandable those parents ask this question.

I believe the best place for a homeless child to grow up is in a family that already has more than one child. Having a brother or a sister in a family can be very encouraging and will help both the adopted and the biological children. However, do not adopt a child if you are not sure of yourself. Adoption isn't for everyone. I believe one has to be called to adopt. If you adopt, you must love the child equally as your own.

Let me share with you a true story of a friend of mine in Korea who adopted a child. My friend was happily married and had a beautiful daughter by birth. My friend had a lot of compassion for orphans and suggested to his wife that they adopt a child. His wife was against the idea. Not only that, his side and her side of the families were against the idea as well. Because my friend worked at an adoption agency, he occasionally traveled to the airport to escort some children who were leaving Korea to go to American families.

One day, one of the children, a baby boy, waiting to leave for America had a cancellation in adoption. My friend was notified of this change while he was at the airport. My friend could not take the baby boy anywhere, so he took the boy to his own home, where he thought his family could take care of the baby boy until he got re-assigned with another family. During this time, his wife took care of the baby everyday, and the baby was introduced to all the other family members.

After a month later, my friend told his wife that the baby has been assigned to a new family in America and the boy must leave their home. His wife was upset the boy was leaving so soon and told her husband she didn't want to give up the baby. Therefore they adopted the baby and they were very happy afterward. Their entire family members were happy as well. My friend told me that he and his wife loved the new child very much and loved as much as their own biological daughter.

Most likely, my friend's wife was concerned whether she would be able to love an adopted child as much as her own daughter. She found out when she started to take care of the baby boy. In the process she found out she could love the child as much as her own. She also realized that loving someone is a choice she can make. It is in giving, you receive blessing.

There are many people who are unlovable until you decide to love. You choose to love your spouse. You choose to love your friends. You can choose to love a child you adopt. Think of it this way. God may have planned all along for you to adopt a child. He knows that you will love the child equally. In as much as He wishes for you to bring joy and happiness through the child, God will bless your family through the child even more.

3. I am afraid that the child I adopt may not turn out very well later. I have heard of some adoptees who didn't turn out very well.

History and experience has shown that most adoptees turn out well, just as biologically born children. Just as children who are born biologically and raised in normal family settings become successful citizens in a society, adoptees become successful too. On the contrary, just as children who are born biologically and raised in normal family settings become failures in the society, adoptees can fail too. There is no difference. If biological children fail in schools and in the society, what is the reason for their failure? If an adoptee fails in the same manner, why should his failure be explained any differently? Adoptees go through the same growing pains that all adolescent teenagers go through. They have the same problems and concerns to deal with as they mature. Therefore, if an adoptee fails in a society, he is no different because children who weren't adopted fail as well.

In Los Angeles, there are many Korean teenagers who cause a lot of trouble. They don't do well in schools, they steal, they do drugs, and they get into trouble with the law. But almost none of them were adopted. They all have their own parents and families. What is their reason for failure? However, if an adoptee gets into the same trouble, most Koreans would conclude that the failure was due to the fact that he is an adoptee, or that his adoption failed. Often the Korean news media would carry stories of troubled teenagers. The unfortunate thing is that if one of those teenagers happened to be an adoptee, the Korean news media will certainly point out that he/she is an adoptee on the news headlines. You will never see that happening in the American news media. You may read about his adoption being mentioned somewhere in their articles, but not headlined like they do in the Korean society. The Korean news media must cover these articles more responsibly. We cannot draw a general conclusion on adoptees just from a few isolated cases that the Korean news media decides to focus on.

An argument can be made to say that adoptees have better chance of being successful because parents who wanted them in the first place adopted them. It is a common knowledge that many children who were born were not initially planned or even wanted by their parents, but most parents accept and cope with the unexpected surprises and raise them with love. But in the case of adoptees, they are adopted because they were wanted. The truth is that no one can predict whether adoptees will turn out well. You can't even predict whether your own biological children will turn out well. The fear of failure is not only with adopted children, but with your own children as well. It is important not to dwell on the fear, but realize that a child needs you as parents and you need that child to love and share the joy of being a family. When a child knows he/she is loved, chances are great that child will grow into loving and responsible individual.

4. I am afraid whether my family members will accept the child I adopt.

It is very important that both husband and wife agree to adopt. The decision to adopt should not be based on one partner's desire. In the Korean culture, the family relationship is very intertwined and involved. One family member does not make an independent decision on something just because he/she desires. Often approvals from the rest of the family members are required.

Take an example in marriage. If a young man loves a woman and desires to marry her, and she consents to his proposal, that is not the end. The man has to get the approval from his parents, and the woman from her side of the family. In many cases grandparents must approve the marriage as well. Countless number of love relationships has been broken either by parents or other family members. In Korea there is a saying, "If you marry, you marry into your spouse's family as well."

Therefore in Korea, this cultural aspect alone is a great barrier against couples who want to adopt. How do you overcome this barrier? The only way I can answer this question is by sharing with you a true story of a Korean family who adopted despite the objections from the family members and friends.

The Yoo family

The Yoo family lives in Korea. Mr. and Mrs. Yoo had two children biologically, a boy and a girl. The children have grown, and the boy attends a high school and the girl attends a middle school. Both Mr. Yoo and his wife are devout Christians who always had special hearts for homeless children. They wanted to adopt a child, but their parents strongly disapproved of their plan. Their friends all recommended against such idea. Some even called them crazy for adopting a child who doesn't belong to them.

Despite the objections raised by those close to them, they went ahead and adopted an infant boy. When they brought the baby home, their hearts were filled with joy as well as anxiety that come from doing something out of the ordinary. They said they put everything in the hands of the Lord.

One day, Mr. Yoo's father came to visit them. Upon seeing the new grandson, the new grandfather refused to look at the child, saying he will never hold the child or associate with him. This rejection really pained the hearts of the couple. But they knew they did the right thing by adopting a homeless child.

However, as the new grandfather witnessed the newfound joy in the couple, and how they loved the boy very much, his heart gradually began to change. He came to visit them more often. Later he started to touch the baby and hold him as well. Now he loves the boy very much.

5. I am afraid to tell my child that he/she was adopted?

Refer to: Why Do Away With Secret Adoption

6. I am afraid to admit to others that my child was adopted.

Refer to: Why Do Away With Secret Adoption

7. I am afraid my neighbors will say something hurtful if they find out my child was adopted.

This concern is very genuine in Korea (Refer to: Why Koreans Practice Secret Adoption)

Because of the fear on what others in the neighborhood may think or say about adoption, many Koreans don't adopt. If they do adopt, it is done in secret.

For every person who ridicules your child for being adopted, there will be many more who will praise you and your child. Believe not the negative comments you may hear. Believe those who encourage you with positive words and thank them. Believe that you were chosen by God to be parents to a child that needed you. Believe that you were meant for one another and you are not going to allow some foolish comments get in the way of loving that child. Your child needs your courage to stand up for him.

It will take many years before Koreans can embrace the concept of adoption in positive ways. But this can only be speeded by courageous people who would do what is right, and not listen to baseless rumors from the people who are not in the position to make any comments.

Some Koreans are downright cruel in their description of homeless children. They label them with names that are derogatory. I had a friend who lived in Korea. He and his wife had a biological child but decided to adopt a baby. After the adoption was finalized the baby came home. Not long after that, his neighbors were making very unkindly remarks. They described the adopted child as a "something the couple picked up from the street" as if to describe a "thing" rather than to describe a person. After this experience, my friend moved away to another part of the city and kept the adoption secret from then on. I don't blame my friend for his decision to move away and to keep adoption secret. But it saddens me to see how some Koreans can be very cruel. It is bad enough they don't want to help homeless children themselves, but to make derogatory comments to those who help those children are inexcusable. This applies to children who are adopted by foreign parents as well. These insensitive people oppose foreign adoption, claiming it is a national shame, but they don't lift a finger to help those children themselves.

Do not let those people dictate you what should be done or what should not be done. You can choose to be courageous and ignore them. Do what your heart tells you as the right thing to do.

8. What if his/her friends tease or embarrass my child for having been adopted?

Refer to: Recommendations to Parents

9. Will the child accept us as his/her own parents in later years?

Refer to: The third reason is...

10. What if my adopted child grows up and seeks to find birth parents?

I have never met an adoptee who was not curious about his/her background such as where they came from and who their biological parents were. For an adoptee, to have this kind of curiosity is natural and expected. Many adoptees have expressed the desire to find biological parents, and some have succeeded in finding them. But for most of those adoptees who have found their biological parents, the results have been mixed. Some, after meeting them, were just satisfied at the fact they finally found their parents and moved on without staying in contact with their birth parents again. In some cases, the biological parents resented the fact the children they gave up many years ago came back to remind them of their painful past. In other cases, the adoptees saw their birth parents and realized that they were not what they have always dreamed of and came back disillusioned and disappointed. I have seen some cases where adoptees wished they had never tried to contact their birth parents after going through the experiences of finding them.

Adoptees seek out for their birth parents out of natural instinct of wanting to know who their real parents are. After much time and effort spent on searching for their birth parents, they realize that the real parents are the adoptive parents they now have. I have never met or heard of a case where an adoptee left his adoptive parents and went back to live with his birth parents. This speaks of the fact that raising a child in love is more important than giving birth to a child. In the end, a child remembers his love, not where he came from. Therefore, do not worry if your adopted child later decides to seek for his birth parents. Support him in his search for the missing puzzle. Let him come to his own conclusion. Continue to show him your love. He will never depart your family of love.

11. I want to adopt a child, but financially limited.

Your desire to accept and love a child as your own will enable you to overcome the financial difficulty. Even the poorest of families have children of their own and do their best to live. I know an American couple who wanted to adopt a sibling group of five children from Korea, but financially unable to do so. However, the couple appealed to their church friends and got financial support from their friends. They were very happy when all five children came home. To them, finance was not the barrier, but the desire to become parents to the needy children. Some parents have borrowed money to adopt children. It takes a lot of money to raise a child today nowadays. One needs to carefully consider the matter of finance before deciding to adopt. However, listen to your heart. If you really want to adopt a child, you can always find means to do it.

People spend $20,000 or $30,000 to buy cars or remodel their homes. They may not have cash so they finance the purchases. However many consider paying $12,000 to permanently help a homeless child is too costly. It all depends on your priority.

12. I am afraid that adopting a child will ruin our family's reputation.

Please do not adopt. Children deserve better homes.

13. I am a single, or a single parent.

Although the traditional belief is that a child should have a mother and a father, it is not impossible to raise a child alone. Many single parents have raised their children successfully. My belief is that a single parent for a child is a lot better than having no parents at all. However, whether a single person can adopt a child mainly depends on the adoption laws of the country. Some countries may not allow single parent adoption.

14. I am too old to adopt.

You are not too old to adopt if you or your spouse are 44 years or younger in America, and 50 years or younger in Korea. For Korean-American couples who are older than 44 years-old but still want to adopt, the Korean government will consider case-by-case basis. If you can raise a child from his/her first year to the time of high school graduation, you are young enough to adopt.

Why Do Away With Secret Adoption?

2009-05-17T22:20:00Z

Although secret adoption in Korea is mainly practiced by families adopting very young children (0 - 2 years), the reasons we need to do away with secret adoptions are simple:

1) Do it for the children and the parents.
2) Do it for other homeless children in Korea.

I would like to stress again that secret adoption practiced by Koreans is not necessarily wrong due to their cultural circumstances. However there is so much more to gain by being open about it. If Koreans open up on adoption, then it will becomes more acceptable in society and encourages more Koreans to adopt.

1) Do it for the Children and the Parents.
Many Koreans may differ with this viewpoint in how openly acknowledging their adoption will be beneficial to their children. This in light of the fact that secret adoption is practiced in order to protect the interest of their children and the families involved. Therefore one may ask, "Are we really doing our child a favor by being open about adoption?"

A) The foremost reason why a child needs to be informed of his adoption is that he deserves to know the truth about himself.
However painful his past may be the child will grow up with that knowledge and accepts his own circumstances as he matures into adulthood. His maturing process is especially helped by the constant assurance and love received from his parents. This is the key to his positive outlook in life.

B) The second reason is that the fear of what others may think of one’s adopted child is over-blown.
For every person who ridicules your child for being adopted, there will be many more people who will praise you and your child. Believe not the negative comments you may hear. Believe those who encourage you with positive words and thank them. Believe that you were chosen by God to be parents to a child that needed you. Believe that you were meant for one another and you are not going to allow some foolish comments get in the way of loving that child. Your child needs your courage to stand up for him.

C) The third reason is that the fear of your child not accepting you as the real parents is also over-blown.
Most children remember those who loved more than those who gave birth to them. Of course adoptees are by nature curious about their birth parents. This is a fact you must accept as adoptive parents. The best way to show them your love is by supporting their search to find birth parents if they choose to in later years. Do not discourage their search. Do not hide any truth from them. To discourage their search is to deny a part of who they are. They need to find answers for themselves. This is the way to show your real love. After they satisfy their curiosity and longing, they will come to terms with themselves. They will have better ideas as to who they are.

For adoptees, birthparents are practically strangers even if they were to meet them for the first time. It will be very difficult for adoptees to draw closer to their birthparents since there is no shared bond of love between them for all the years of separation. This is probably the biggest obstacle adoptees may have to overcome if they were to have any meaningful relationship with their birthparents.

If you have loved your children sincerely, they will know. Your children will always stay with you because they will remember the place of love. It is possible they will find their birth parents. Once the curiosity has been satisfied, most of them will return back to their adoptive parents. I have met many adoptees in my life, and have never met or heard an adoptee, when having found birth parents decided to abandon the adoptive family and go live with the birth parents. Adoptees remember the place of love more than the place of birth.

Consequences of Children Finding Out Their Adoption Later in Life:

This is probably the greatest fear among the Korean adoptive parents who have adopted secretly. They fear their children may one day learn of his/her adoption. For most of the parents, they think this will never happen to their children. Secret adoptions may work in many cases, but keeping the adoption secret from children may be counter productive in the long run. There is no guarantee that adoption can be kept secret forever. Discussed below are potential consequences of keeping adoption secret and offer some recommendations to adoptive parents.

I have heard many cases where children find out later that they have been adopted. The emotional shock, pain and disappointment experienced by those children can be indescribable. Many feel cheated by their parents for not having been straightforward with them from the beginning. Some were able to overcome their shock with time, but many could never get over it. Below are some of my thoughts on this:

A) Many children are terribly saddened and distressed to learn they are not their parents’ real sons or daughters. This is the most painful knowledge they will have to bear for many years if not their entire lifetime. The knowledge that their parents are not the real ones will begin the longing in their hearts to search for their birth parents. Unfortunately for many children, this is the time when they are tempted to become angry and to misunderstand their adoptive parents. For example, an adoptee may recall past experiences involving punishment for wrongful deeds, extra rebuke he may have received, or parents not getting him certain gifts he wanted for birthdays or Christmas, or not spending enough time with him. These memories come back to him and make perfect sense to him why his parents treated him that way. He mistakenly concludes that his parents didn’t really love him because he was adopted. He falsely concludes also that had he been their real son, he would not have been treated that way. Therefore, It shouldn’t surprise anyone why he may resent his parents from that moment on and cause a good relationship to go bad.

B) Many adoptees will eventually overcome their initial disappointment and adjust to the new situation and realize that their adoptive parents made the decisions in their best interest, many, however, feel they have been cheated in life by having been lied to all along. Adoptive parents may try to explain the reasons or circumstances behind their decisions, but no matter how well-intentioned their reasons are, these children are hurt, and in many cases the damage to parent-child relationship is permanently damaged.

These are the reasons why the majority of the Korean adoptive parents will never reveal secret adoption to their children.

Recommendations to Parents:

If you are parents of an adopted child, and have kept his/her adoption secret, the following is my recommendation:

A) If your child is young (12 years or younger), you may reveal to the child that he was adopted. It is far better to let him know early on. Gradual adjustment and growth into the acceptance that he was adopted is a better option than learning the truth later and be shocked and confused. Contrary to the belief, a child who knows early on that he was adopted will accept his circumstance and grow with it with proper encouragement and guidance from the parents. As for the fear on what others may think of him and you as parents for your openness in adoption, the fear is much more exaggerated than what it really is. (See C below).

B) If a child is in his teen years or older and he is not aware of adoption, then maintain the secrecy and do not reveal it to him unless necessary. If you choose to reveal it to him later, then you must be well prepared to face the consequences. You must reassure your child that your love for him remains the same no matter what.

C) As for fear of your child being ridiculed or discriminated against by his school friends or other adults, the chance of that happening is very small.

I have met thousands of Korean-Americans and I have never met a person who ridiculed me because I was adopted. However, in Korea, my situation was worse because I carried with me the label of being an orphan. Even in that situation I cannot remember one time when a school friend ridiculed me because I was an orphan. The fear of being ridiculed is all in the mind. Instead of being ridiculed, I had many wonderful friends who accepted me as their friends. My memory of the people I met while in Korea to the time I was adopted into a family in the US at the age of fourteen has been very positive. This is not to say that an orphan is not ridiculed in Korea. The bottom line is, whether I was an orphan or is an adoptee doesn’t really matter much since I have met wonderful people despite my circumstances, and I choose to look on the positive aspect of the whole experience.

I had plenty of time to be called names and be ridiculed during my fourteen years living in Korea as an orphan, but I really don’t remember anyone who did. Kids tease more on physical aspects than a child’s status as an orphan or as an adoptee. It has been my experience that kids usually tease other kids for their race, color of skin, physical attractiveness, funny speech, etc., not so much on their orphan/adoptee status.

2) Do it for Other Homeless Children in Korea.

One of the reasons why adoption is not popular in Korea is that there is lack of role model families who have adopted children openly. If you adopt a child openly and love the child as your own, you become a role model for other potential adoptive parents. Your love and generosity will challenge others to look at the adoption in positive ways.

In the Western world, there is little or no fear in adopting homeless children, nor is there negative social stigma attached to those children. They have very high esteem of those who adopt. Some claim the Western world having its history entwined in the Judeo-Christian culture has something to do with their view on adoption. But the fact is clear. If the concept of adoption is well accepted in a society, and esteemed as a noble gesture toward humanity, there will be more people who will adopt.

Koreans must adopt the same cultural values. If more Koreans adopt, there will emerge more Koreans who will be open to adoption. Thus, more children having families of their own.

Is Secret Adoption Wrong?

2009-05-17T22:19:00Z

Before saying anything on this, I would like to first mention the old saying, "Before you can judge a person, you have to walk in his shoes first." This is another way of saying, "Before you come down hard on Koreans, you have to first live in their culture." Therefore, I can safely declare that if Koreans don’t adopt based on the above reasons, they are not necessarily wrong. It is perfectly legitimate for them to worry about what may happen to their adopted children, and it is natural for them to feel embarrassed or fear when the culture tells them they should. They just need to have courage and see the positive aspects in adoption.

Why do Koreans Practice Secret Adoption?

2009-05-17T22:16:00Z

Almost all adoptions in Korea take place secretly. That is, when a couple adopts a child, they do it secretly without letting others in the community know about it. The immediate family members or a few very close friends may know about it, but they are asked to keep the adoption secret from others. Nor is the child in question informed of the adoption if he/she was adopted as an infant. Consequently, the child grows up without knowing that he/she was adopted. Apparently Korea is not alone when it comes to this kind of closed adoption. Families in countries such as Japan and China and other Asian countries have similar practices. As for Korea, there are three main reasons for practicing secret adoption:

1) Parents are afraid of the possible ridicule and discrimination their adopted children may face as they grow up in the Korean culture. Children who are openly exposed as adoptees in Korea are vulnerable to other children who are not adopted. Some children (or adults) may look at adoptees as people who are less than equal. Some Korean parents forbid their children from associating with adoptees for fear their children may be negatively influenced by the children who they consider are less than equal. Some parents will not permit their children to date or marry adoptees (or people with orphan backgrounds). Some look on adoptees with pity. If an adoptee makes an ordinary mistake or gets into a trouble, he/she is judged differently from their biological children who get into the same trouble.

Therefore, parents do not want to subject their adopted children to an environment of negative social stigma. Thus adoption in Korea take place in shrouded secrecy.

2) Married couples who cannot have children are culturally stereotyped as failures

in procreating important family blood lineage. This has resulted in negative social stigma being attached to couples without children. In the Confucian culture that permeated the Korean society for hundreds of years, a woman who cannot bear a child was considered incomplete. Therefore it was shameful and embarrassing for a woman if she was unable to have children. During ancient times in Korea, women were unfairly blamed for being childless. In the old days a man could dismiss his wife for any one of the seven reasons found in the "Seven Depravities of Women." Along with adultery, the inability to bear children was one of the seven. This was a serious reason enough for a man to get rid of his wife and find another who can bear children. Though this practice was abandoned long ago, the psychological influence it had on the society for women who can’t bear children has lingered on for many generations and is still felt in the modern day Korea.

The only way for childless couples to avoid negative social stigma in the Korean society is to have children through adoption. But to do it openly (allowing others know about their adoption) means they are letting others know they were not able to have children, thus making themselves vulnerable to social stigma. Therefore they resort to secret adoption. In so doing, they would appear to others as normal families. Many families move away to another neighborhood just before or after adoptions take place. If the new neighbors don't know about their adoption, the family avoids the risk of being embarrassed.

In secret adoption, there have been many cases in Korea where some women faked pregnancy by stuffing soft pillows or cottons under their clothes to appear pregnant. In a typical case, a woman may appear to be pregnant in the eyes of her neighbor. When the time comes, she secretly goes away from the neighborhood for a while, supposedly to give birth to a child, and return a few months later with an infant in her arms, making others in the neighborhood to believe she has just given birth to a child. My friend, a social worker in Korea, has seen many of these "make-believe" pregnancy cases. It is obvious by these examples that the cultural pressure a Korean woman faces is still strong, making her to resort to these kinds of practices to be accepted by the others.

3) People usually don’t do what other people don’t do.

This is true in adoption. If the social and cultural expectations placed on adoption are something to be ashamed of or embarrassed by (not necessarily feeling shameful on adoption itself but on what other people may think of them), people obviously do not want to put at risk themselves by open adoption. Likewise, if the society and the culture see adoption as something beautiful and nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about, people will open up to adoption just like the people in the US and in Europe do.
Helping to remove the fear in adoption in Korea, especially the fear of what others may think about them and their adopted children, is one of the primary missions of MPAK.

A Special Greeting Message from the late Bertha Grandma Holt

2009-05-17T15:51:00Z

A Greeting Message to MPAK Visitors! From the Late Bertha "Grandma" Holt Founder, Holt International Children's Services, Inc

Note: Beloved Grandma Holt passed away on July 31, 2000 at Creswell, Oregon. She has left a legacy of love through adoption and through her faith in God. She is remembered for her statement that, "All Children Are Beautiful When They Are Loved." Generations of adopted children represent the product of her simple act of obeying God’s leading in her life. To homeless children and adoptive families around the world she was simply “Grandma Holt.” The following letter on behalf of MPAK was written on August 1999.

Dear MPAK Visitors:

I am so glad you are visiting the MPAK web site. I have been helping homeless children in Korea to have families of their own for close to 43 years by establishing the Holt International Children's Services, Inc. My husband Harry and I began the work with the vision, "Every Child Deserves a Home of His Own." That has been the motto at Holt International for all these years.
Each year, many Korean children are being placed into families in the US and in Europe. However, a greater number of children remain homeless in Korea. I really believe the time has come for Koreans to open their hearts and homes to the homeless children in Korea. I say this with a sense of urgency since Korea will end the foreign adoption program sometime in the future, thus forcing many children to grow up in orphanages in Korea.

I am very grateful that an organization such as MPAK was formed to promote adoption in Korea, where the concept of adoption is not popular. MPAK's founder, Mr. Steve Morrison is one of thousands of children I can proudly claim as my grandchildren. Steve was orphaned at an early age and was adopted by a wonderful family in the US. He is now a space systems engineer working in the aerospace industry researching in satellite systems technology. Steve has faithfully served as a member of the board of directors at Holt International for sixteen years. Steve's dream is that someday Korea will become as open to adoption as it is in the west. My hope is that someday Korea would view adoption as something very beautiful, and many Koreans will adopt homeless children in Korea.

I pray that there will be other adoptees and Koreans who will join Steve in this Mission to Promote Adoption in Korea. May God bless you all.

Lovingly,

Bertha "Grandma" Holt

The History of MPAK

2009-05-17T15:49:00Z

The History of MPAK
By Stephen C. Morrison

Ever since leaving Korea at the age of 14 to become a new member of the Morrison family in Salt Lake City, Utah, I have never forgotten the faces of homeless children who remained in Korea with no families of their own. Though my life as a Morrison was a very happy one, I always remembered the friends I left in Korea, and the countless number of children who had to grow up in orphanages. I remember thinking how wonderful it would be if the Koreans would adopt those children like they do in the US.

After graduating from college, I got involved with the Holt International Children's Services, Inc. of Eugene, Oregon. I went on the Motherland Tour to Korea with 31 other grown adoptees in the summer of 1983. It was the first time back to visit since leaving Korea. It was a wonderful trip. At the request from Holt, I wrote an article that reflected my sentiment on the trip. It was titled, "The Memories of Il-San" , which was published in the Hi-Families Magazine and now in the Holt web site under Adoptees section.

Because of my continued interest and support for Holt, I was elected to the Board of Directors at Holt. I was honored and privileged to serve on the board with Mrs. Bertha Holt, the founder. As a little kid growing up in Il-San, I remember calling her "Holt Halmoni", meaning Grandma Holt. I also remember her husband Harry Holt very well. Harry used to let me ride on his earthmover as he worked in the fields of Il-San. Not in my wildest imagination have I ever thought that one day I would seat alongside Grandma Holt in the council of the board at Holt to join them in helping homeless children throughout the world. It was like a grown up son joining his parents to take a part in the mission, which he was, a benefactor. I served sixteen years on the board and was very grateful for the opportunity to serve.

In 1989, I began to work at the Aerospace Corporation as a satellite systems engineer. The company is in El Segundo, California, employed around 4000 people. There I befriended several Koreans. Among them was a man named Chul Min Kim. People called him "Kim Jang No Nim" meaning "Elder Kim" since he was an Elder at a large Korean Presbyterian church. The Elder Kim took special interest in me and we became very good friends even though he was ten years senior to me. He was very spiritual. Fortunately, most of the other Koreans at Aerospace were Christians as well. Whenever we went out to lunch together, the discussion always centered on things happening in their church and other Christian topics.

He was a dynamic Christian man who inspired me to be a better Christian through his example. Often I would visit his office and he would visit mine and we would talk about everything from finding me a wife (I was a single then) and more church related discussion. He taught a Christian marriage seminar for singles and couples, and had a weekly Korean Christian radio program on the subject of Christian marriage. Also, I would occasionally talk to him about my adoption experience and my parents.

I remember one day I was in his office talking about my adoption experience. After listening to me for a while, he looked at me straight and said, "Steve, as far as I can see, there is only one thing you are missing." I looked at him thinking that maybe he would say I needed a wife. Instead he said, "You need to go around different churches and give testimonies. You need to give God the credit for what He has done in your life."

I forgot about our conversation for some time after that. Each year I remember going up to Eugene, Oregon for the Holt Board meetings. By this time I have already been a board member for over ten years. I began to think how I might be able to serve more actively before my term expired. It was during that time Korea was trying hard to avoid being embarrassed for being labeled as the number one exporter of orphans in the world. Some called it a national shame in light of the fact the country is no longer considered a poor nation.

However, Koreans were not about to adopt their own children to alleviate the large number of children being placed into foreign countries. They faced a dilemma with guilt. They didn't want children to go abroad, but they weren't willing to adopt themselves. This is because the concept of adoption is not very well accepted in Korea. (See The Biggest Barrier in Korean Adoption: Secrecy in Adoption)

In the early 1995, I was in the office of the Elder Chul Min Kim and confided in him that I would like to look into the possibility of promoting adoption in the Korean community in the LA area. When I shared with him my thoughts, he said it was a great idea. He immediately invited me to be a guest on his weekly radio program dealing in Christian marriage. I remember asking him, "What's adoption got to do with Christian marriage?" When I asked him that question he said it was appropriate with the theme of the program and said, "Just come and share your heart." I was thinking perhaps he was running out of the guest speakers and was desperate to have me on the program regardless of topics.

It was right at that moment a lightening flashed in my mind. I said, "Well, yes, this is a Christian marriage radio program. Why don't I talk about my parents who I really think set before me a living example of what a Christian marriage is all about. And how can I talk about them without talking about my adoption?" The Elder Kim beamed with a smile as if to say that was what he had in mind.

It was March 1995 when we arrived at the Gospel Broadcasting Station in the Koreatown. I interviewed with the Elder Kim and a lady named Mrs. Yoon Jung who directed the program. The interview was for 30 minutes. As they asked me questions on my parents and my adoption experience, I spoke from the bottom of my heart. I spoke to them of my parents' love for God and for me. I spoke about Harry and Bertha Holt. I spoke about my growing up with the new family. I spoke of God's wonderful mercy and grace He has shown me through the adoption experience.

Mrs. Yoon did most of the questioning. I didn't realize it until later in the program that the Elder Kim was very quiet without saying much. I thought that was odd. I glanced over to look at him and saw tears streaming down on his face. Even though I spoke gently of my experience and without much drama, my testimony nevertheless moved his heart. There wasn't enough time and we had to continue the following week.

After the interviews, there were phone calls from people who wanted to know more about adoption. Soon after that the Elder Kim and I met again over a lunch and discussed how we might approach promoting adoption in the Korean community. A plan began to form. What we decided to do was to hold an event at a local Korean church and invite Grandma Holt, the founder of Holt, and David Kim, the former president of the Holt to be the guest speakers. The Elder Kim insisted that I speak as well. To put this event together, an organizing sponsor team was needed. I was invited by the Elder Kim to come and speak before the men and women of the Voice Mission Fellowship group in LA. The Elder Kim was the president of this group, which supported the Korean missionaries all over the world. There I spoke for the first time in a public setting. The purpose of my testimony was to speak my heart to those men and women of the fellowship group to see if they would be willing to sponsor the event we had in mind. Afterward they all agreed that holding an event to promote adoption in the Korean community was in line with their mission.

It was right around that time a big article came out in the front page of the second section in The Korea Times in May 31, 1995. It featured a picture of me holding a satellite model, and a picture of me taken on the first day I arrived in the States, and a picture with my parents. The article was written by Ms. Rok Park and was very well written. It read as if she put her heart into it. From that day, I received numerous phone calls from the Koreans all over the US. The majority of the calls came from the LA area. The timing of the article was perfect since we were going to hold the event on June 17, 1995. The people at the Voice Mission Church went out of their ways to make me appear in a television special. I was featured in a segment called Saturday Report, a fifteen minute segment on the coming event and introducing me as an adoptee in the space technology world. The reporters from KTAN-TV came to my company and videotaped my work. The TV report was also done very well. There were a couple of radio interviews as well. I was very busy trying to follow the instruction given by the people at the Voice Mission who knew how to get the words out about the June 17th event.

So began the event called, "Ib Yang Gan Jeung Ui Bam", or "The Night of Testimony in Adoption" in June 17, 1995. The event was held at the former Choong Shin Presbyterian Church in LA and was attended by around 250 Koreans. It was well organized and coordinated by the members of the church as well as the members of the Voice Mission. There were three main objectives for the event: 1) To promote adoption in the Korean community, 2) To remove social stigma attached to orphans and adoptees, 3) To raise funds for the Holt International Children's Services. Grandma Holt gave a testimony on how she began her work to help homeless children. Dr. David Kim shared his experience during his 40 years of service at Holt. I gave a testimony of my own after them.

At the end of the event, there were approximately 20 families who wanted to know more about adoption. There were 20 new sponsors who signed up to $25 per month donation to support a child, and thousands of Dollars were raised through donations. As I took Grandma Holt and David Kim to the LA airport the next day, they were so grateful for the opportunity to take a part in the event. I can still remember Dr. Kim telling the Koreans that during the 40 years of service at Holt, he had always wished he could reach the Korean community some day, and that day has finally arrived.

The whole experience buoyed my heart and many others. Through mass media and through other channels, many people became aware of the needs of homeless children, and for the first time, many have started to ask themselves, "Is adoption an option for my family?" On the night when the event was finished, a couple named Patty and Moon Choe came up to me afterwards and said, "We have made up our mind tonight to adopt." If the event were just for that couple only, it would have been well worth it. Today, Patty and Moon have a son they adopted from Korea and they told me how joyous they are because of the boy. They are now planning to adopt another one. I hope their dream will come true soon. How I wish there were more Korean families like them.

From that day on, I began to get invitations from various churches in the LA area to come and give them my testimony. A church in Pennsylvania once invited me as well. There was another aspect of my life that was quickly changing. I believed I have finally found a mission in my life. It all began to make sense why God would make me suffer as a child, be adopted by a loving family in the US, raise me the way He did, and give me a burden in my heart for those children who remain in Korea. When I realized that God had placed in me a special burden in my heart for those children, God blessed me with a beautiful wife named Kyong Mee, who shared the same vision with me. We were married in December 1995. He blessed me with a new house, and I subsequently got a new job with a promotion at TRW Space and Technology Division as a Senior Systems Engineer. My daughter Helen was born in 1997. I now had everything that I had always dreamed of, having a family of my own. One of the most joyous moments was watching my Mom and Dad come out to LA just to celebrate with us the first year birthday party for Helen. It was a dream come true for me as I watched them holding my daughter on their laps.

In 1997 October 4, 1997 we did another "Ib Yang Gan Jeung Ui Bam", or "The Night of Testimony in Adoption" at the First Presbyterian Church of the Orange County. This time it was sponsored by the Shin Woo World Mission, Inc. It was possible, because my friend, Elder Chul Kim became the president there later. It was a much bigger church than the one we had before in 1995 and was attended by approximately 200 people. The guest speakers were Grandma Holt and Molly Holt. For over 40 years Molly has served the homeless special needs children living in the Holt Il-San Children's Center. She remained single all her life just so that she could devote herself to those children. What an experience she shared. There was not one heart that didn't get touched that night. In addition to them, I again gave my testimony. The objectives were similar as before: 1) To promote adoption in the Korean community, 2) To change the negative social stigma toward orphans and adoptees, and 3) To raise funds to help the special needs children living in the Holt Il-San Children's Center.

The second event resulted in approximately twelve families wanting to know more about adoption, 22 new sponsors, and thousands of Dollars were raised on behalf of the children at Il-San. Just as the first event two years earlier, I'm sure there were many changed hearts toward orphans and adoptees, and many were challenged to think about adoption as an option.

Having done the past two events over the span of four years, I have often wondered if I should form an organization whose express purpose is to promote adoption of Korean children by Korean families. Through the two events, I had many friends who shared the same enthusiasm and concern for the homeless children in Korea. Lately the concern included children in North Korea as well. But I wasn't sure about forming an organization, that is, until my trip to Korea during the Christmas season in 1998.

My family traveled to Korea to spend the Christmas with my wife's family living in Korea. I was invited by the English Ministry of the Sarang Community Church in Seoul to come and give testimony on three different services. That was a great experience since I have never spoken at three different services in one day. I believe they were challenged by my testimony. They were very appreciative of my message. I think there were many changed hearts, and several couples came to me afterward to say they will consider adoption in the future.

I spoke at the Holt Il-San Children's Center where Molly Holt worked and lived. Of all the places I have spoken so far, that one was the most meaningful one for me because that was my childhood home. I spoke to about 250 people who consisted of special needs children and the workers. I also met the Rev. Han Min Hee, the minister for the children living in the Center. He was gracious enough to introduce me to several churches. While in Korea, I spoke nine different times. Despite catching flu, God used me each time. I even got invited to speak at a Junior High School where I spoke before the 900 students. My job was to teach them to be more service-minded rather than to think only of themselves. The principal was very concerned for his students. I hope those students realize what a fine principal they have. Speaking to them was a challenging experience since the request was made with such a short notice and I had no prior preparation time.

One of the most memorable time I had along with speaking at the Holt Il-San Center, was visiting an orphanage in Kimchon City, about three hours drive south of Seoul. The name of the orphanage was Immanuel Children's Center. The director of the Immanuel was Mrs. Kim Jung Sook, who along with her husband are very close to my family. We visited the infant room and were surprised to see so many children. In a room that was suitable for six or seven babies, there were about fifteen babies there. Some babies didn't have crib spaces so they were laid on a large soft blanket on the floor. There they slept and ate. According to the Director Kim, due to the bad economic condition in Korea, their parents abandoned them. In the recent months Korea has experienced a tremendous economic decline where many families have been hit hard. Children are the ones who suffered the most. It really saddened my heart to see those babies there.

Another thing I learned while in Korea was that the Korean Government was gradually cutting back on foreign adoption. Each year fewer children are being allowed to be placed into foreign homes. Their intention is to close the foreign adoption completely some day (see LA Times Article). I believe they should. However, only if there are enough Korean families who are willing to adopt children who could otherwise be placed into foreign families. I'm afraid that there will be more children who will grow up in orphanages because of this policy. Who will help these children?

I was not aware if there was any effort by the Korean Government to promote Korean adoption, at least not one that I am familiar with. Realizing that Korea will one day stop sending children oversea, I felt a heavy burden in my heart to do something about this. During my talks at various churches and organizations during the past four years, I have always advocated adoption as something that is beautiful and wonderful for both children and parents. Koreans must open up their hearts and homes to homeless children. The time has come for them to abandon the centuries-old tradition and custom of taking care of only their family members and reach out to these children in Christ's love. The Mission to Promote Adoption in Korea (MPAK) was formed with these thoughts in mind, and to be a voice for those homeless children remaining in Korea.

MPAK will have a picnic on May 23, 2009.

2009-05-15T22:14:00Z