Hannah – Energizing Gift from God on Christmas

K.C.  and Susan Kim
Trabuco Canyon, California
(Adopted Through Eastern Social Welfare Society)

The Beginning
It was Jesus who moved our hearts towards adopting a child from Korea in the autumn of 1997. My wife, Susan, mentioned our decision to Mrs. Choi who was her business partner at that time. Mrs. Choi was very delighted and asked if she could refer us to an orphanage in Kim-hae, Korea. She told us about the director of the orphanage and we knew that Jesus put the first stepping-stone for us to move ahead with our adoption of a child. In December 1997 my wife and I went to Korea and visited the orphanage – it is called Bang Joo Won, meaning  “The Ark of Noah”. When we talked with Mr. Yun, the director of Bang-Joo-Won, he asked one of the volunteers to bring in a girl named “Han-na” who was 5 years old. And there she was. The first thought I had when I saw her was “Now I am a father. She is my daughter.” I looked at my wife and she seemed to read my thought. After we came back to the States, we started the process to bring Han-na home.

Han-na’s Unusual Request
We went back to Korea to see Han-na in March 1998. We spent 3 days with Han-na in the hotel near bang Joo Won. One night Han-na asked if she could take another girl with her when she goes to America.  Susan and I looked each other for a while and asked Han-na who she had in mind. She mentioned a name of a girl. My wife looked as if she was struck by a lightening and I was lost for words for a while. Han-na named the girl whom my wife wanted to adopt if I did not choose Han-na.  We believed God was working mysteriously for us! I called the agency in Korea if we can take the other girl as well. I was told ”Of course NOT, Mr. Kim, unless they are siblings and don’t you think it’s kind of late to find out now?” I guess I was not thinking straight. Susan and I, however, knew that Han-na would have her sister.

The Name of  “Hannah”
In May 1998 I attended a retreat called REM Weekend sponsored by RHEMA Mission in Los Angeles. When the speaker, Rev. Johannes Lee, explained the Name of Jesus and how important it is to realize the love of God and the power of His name, I came to think of the love of God and what I was doing for Han-na. I did not know God when He sent Jesus to save me; Han-na did not know me when God moved my heart to adopt her. Throughout the adoption process all my thoughts were focused on bringing Han-na home. I imagined that God was thinking the same – “Bring KC home. The only way to do so is to sacrifice my own Son Jesus for KC.” I was so filled with thankfulness that the only word I kept on saying was “God loves me. Thank you, Jesus.” Then, I had an answer why Jesus wanted me to adopt Hannah. In addition to helping a homeless child by providing her a home, God knew that I was so stubborn and selfish that the only way to break the barrier that stood in the way for a loving relationship with Jesus was through this adoption experience.  Also it dawned upon me that as far as adopting Han-na was concerned, Jesus made me to realize that He is the one to be credited, not me.   If there is any credit or praise, it all goes to Jesus. I thanked Jesus that I came to this retreat and learned “the Name of Jesus” as a powerful means in order to bring the best of Han-na, who would grow up with strong faith in Jesus. We named Han-na as “Hannah” because 1) it is a Korean version of “Hannah” and 2) we wanted her to be a woman who relies on prayers rather than on her own intellect or experience.

Hannah - The Christmas Gift from God
In late October 1998, we had a notice in our hands that Hannah was granted the visa to come to the States. But when we talked with the agency, it might not be possible for Hannah to come home due to the Korean government’s quota system that limits the number of children going abroad to be adopted. It’s kind of ridiculous system but we were not disappointed. Instead we started making calls to the agency and “Bang Joo Won” in Korea. I remember quite vividly the reaction of Mr. Yun, the director of Bang Joo Won, when I broke the news why I might not have Hannah in 1998. Three weeks later around the Thanksgiving Holiday, we received a notice from the agency that Hannah could leave Korea as soon as all the paper works are done and asked us to make an arrangement to escort her home. We knew what to do, of course. We sent two airplane tickets to Bang Joo Won; one for Hannah and the other for Mr. Yun.  Hannah and Mr. Yun arrived at the Los Angeles airport on December 26^th, 1998. Hannah was the gift from God on Christmas. How mysterious but thoughtful my Father God in heaven works! My whole family, my parents and my sister’s family, went to the airport to meet Hannah. Due to the excitement of the whole event, I forgot my camera. But to my relief my father did remember to bring his own.

Watching Hannah Sleep
Hannah was kind of quiet for a couple of hours after her arrival. But once she found out she was surrounded by people who cared for her, her voice started rising, she played very energetically with her cousins and started demanding what she wanted. The first night came and I found myself not able to go to sleep but kept staring at Hannah who was sound asleep next to me. I am not sure what I was thinking but one thing I remember is that the adoption has become the reality. Maybe I was giving a silent prayer to Jesus, asking to give me the courage and wisdom to go through any difficulties marching down on me from this day on. One thing I noticed during my sleepless hours of “studying” Hannah was that she was snoring loud with half-opened eyes. Basically I was staring at her and she was staring at me in her sleep – “Why are you staring at me, Dad?”

Meeting Sam from Bang Joo Won
Mr. Yun was very happy during his 2-week stay with us at my house. We became very close like relatives, especially when we found out that Mr. Yun came from the same town where my father came from. Last January Susan visited Bang Joo Won and stayed there for 2 days with Mr. Yun’s family and the kids. During his stay with us, we visited San Jose to meet an adoptee named  “Sam-sool” (his American name is “Sam”.) from Bang Joo Won 10 years ago. It was a very memorable trip. We arrived at Sam’s house on Dec 31^st, stayed over night and on Jan 1^st we exchanged the traditional Korean bow. Even though Sam did not speak Korean I could see in his eyes how grateful and happy to see his old orphanage director. Mr. Yun could not help but to weep from time to time after seeing how well Sam grew up in a good family. Sam showed great interest in Hannah and they played together like a brother and a sister for a while; one speaking Korean, the other speaking English. In the morning of January 1^st I felt very proud and privileged to be a Korean-American adoptive parent who adopted a Korean child. Wasn’t that a great way to start the first day of the year in the last 20^th century?

The Reality of Adoption
The first sign of difficulty shadowed on us about 2 months after Hannah cam home. Susan and I had a big fight over the way she handled Hannah. As a matter of fact, it was my fault after all. I should not have interfered when my wife tried to chide Hannah on what she did wrong. One thing led to another and Susan let out her emotion, which was built inside her regarding me, Hannah and of herself after Hannah’s arrival. Basically Susan was struggling with the changes brought into her life. As for me, I assumed that Susan was doing OK since she put her smile on her face.  After an hour or so Susan and I were crying loud, holding together, saying, “I’m sorry.” to each other, and praying for each other. Hannah watched us silently the whole time. Later Hannah asked us about the incident. Susan told her what she went through after Hannah came home. I don’t think Hannah understood what Susan said but at least it was good for Hannah to see that her Mommy and Daddy resolved whatever that was bothering them through prayer at the end.  The reality struck us quite hard at that time.

Observing Hannah
Hannah is now seven years old and growing taller and stronger. She is never shy, instead she charges toward an unknown territory. Several times she got notices from her teacher about bullying her friends and sometimes having fights with her friends. She is a very fast learner and she does not quite feel right if she does not lead on whatever she is doing. She loves to sing. She has a very good memory.  She can sing quite a few gospels from her memory either in English or in Korean. As days go by, we are thrilled to learn more about Hannah – her ability to learn and respond to the world around her. Susan and I know that it is Jesus who is raising Hannah with His purpose. We, as Hannah’s parents, only show Hannah that Jesus is the one whom we love and trust most and that He is in charge of her life as He is in charge of ours.

Hannah’s Questions
I have been reading a book called “Making Sense of Adoption” for quite a while. It has become a guideline for my dealing with Hannah as far as adoption issues go. About four months ago, on a Sunday afternoon I explained to her how she joined to the family. She looked at me and asked who her birthmother was. I simply answered that we did not know because there was no record of it. She seemed to think about it for a couple of minutes and asked if I wanted to play Monopoly with her. In the evening Susan wondered what I said to Hannah. I told her what happened. She, then, understood why Hannah said that she loved her new mother very much even though she was not born of her. Hannah may have decided to put this sensitive issue aside until she would understand better. Last weekend Hannah suddenly said that she would like to have a baby boy from her mother so that she could take the baby in her arms. I carefully probed which mother she was referring to. (That was very silly of me, in fact.) She responded to my “dumb” question with a blank look – “What are you talking about, Dad?”

An Advocate of Adoption
Because of our adoption experience, one of my friends who has three sons asked a lot of questions about adoption. I told him my story and how I felt about adoption. I encouraged him to consider adoption more seriously. Although I had no intention from the beginning, but very naturally I found myself becoming an advocate for adoption, especially adoption of Korean children from Korea. There is no doubt in my mind that nothing is more blessed than providing a home for a child with the love of Jesus. I am very glad that I found MPAK where I can share my struggles and get encouragements from the other Korean-American families that have adopted just like me. Thank you, Jesus. I know You always lead my way.