Hannah
– Energizing Gift from God on Christmas
K.C.
and Susan Kim
Trabuco
Canyon, California
(Adopted Through Eastern Social Welfare Society)
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The Beginning
It was Jesus
who moved our hearts towards adopting a child from Korea in the autumn of 1997.
My wife, Susan, mentioned our decision to Mrs. Choi who was her business partner
at that time. Mrs. Choi was very delighted and asked if she could refer us to an
orphanage in Kim-hae, Korea. She told us about the director of the orphanage and
we knew that Jesus put the first stepping-stone for us to move ahead with our
adoption of a child. In December 1997 my wife and I went to Korea and visited
the orphanage – it is called Bang Joo Won, meaning
“The Ark of Noah”. When we talked with Mr. Yun, the director of Bang-Joo-Won,
he asked one of the volunteers to bring in a girl named “Han-na” who was 5
years old. And there she was. The first thought I had when I saw her was “Now
I am a father. She is my daughter.” I looked at my wife and she seemed to read
my thought. After we came back to the States, we started the process to bring
Han-na home.
Han-na’s Unusual Request
We went back to Korea to see Han-na in March 1998. We
spent 3 days with Han-na in the hotel near bang Joo Won. One night Han-na asked
if she could take another girl with her when she goes to America.
Susan and I looked each other for a while and asked Han-na who she had in
mind. She mentioned a name of a girl. My wife looked as if she was struck by a
lightening and I was lost for words for a while. Han-na named the girl whom my
wife wanted to adopt if I did not choose Han-na.
We believed God was working mysteriously for us! I called the agency in
Korea if we can take the other girl as well. I was told ”Of course NOT, Mr.
Kim, unless they are siblings and don’t you think it’s kind of late to find
out now?” I guess I was not thinking straight. Susan and I, however, knew that
Han-na would have her sister.
The Name of
“Hannah”
In May 1998 I attended a retreat called REM Weekend
sponsored by RHEMA Mission in Los Angeles. When the speaker, Rev. Johannes Lee,
explained the Name of Jesus and how important it is to realize the love of God
and the power of His name, I came to think of the love of God and what I was
doing for Han-na. I did not know God when He sent Jesus to save me; Han-na did
not know me when God moved my heart to adopt her. Throughout the adoption
process all my thoughts were focused on bringing Han-na home. I imagined that
God was thinking the same – “Bring KC home. The only way to do so is to
sacrifice my own Son Jesus for KC.” I was so filled with thankfulness that the
only word I kept on saying was “God loves me. Thank you, Jesus.” Then, I had
an answer why Jesus wanted me to adopt Hannah. In addition to helping a homeless
child by providing her a home, God knew that I was so stubborn and selfish that
the only way to break the barrier that stood in the way for a loving
relationship with Jesus was through this adoption experience.
Also it dawned upon me that as far as adopting Han-na was concerned,
Jesus made me to realize that He is the one to be credited, not me.
If there is any credit or praise, it all goes to Jesus. I thanked Jesus
that I came to this retreat and learned “the Name of Jesus” as a powerful
means in order to bring the best of Han-na, who would grow up with strong faith
in Jesus. We named Han-na as “Hannah” because 1) it is a Korean version of
“Hannah” and 2) we wanted her to be a woman who relies on prayers rather
than on her own intellect or experience.
Hannah
- The Christmas Gift from God
In late October 1998, we had a notice in our hands
that Hannah was granted the visa to come to the States. But when we talked with
the agency, it might not be possible for Hannah to come home due to the Korean
government’s quota system that limits the number of children going abroad to
be adopted. It’s kind of ridiculous system but we were not disappointed.
Instead we started making calls to the agency and “Bang Joo Won” in Korea. I
remember quite vividly the reaction of Mr. Yun, the director of Bang Joo Won,
when I broke the news why I might not have Hannah in 1998. Three weeks later
around the Thanksgiving Holiday, we received a notice from the agency that
Hannah could leave Korea as soon as all the paper works are done and asked us to
make an arrangement to escort her home. We knew what to do, of course. We sent
two airplane tickets to Bang Joo Won; one for Hannah and the other for Mr. Yun.
Hannah and Mr. Yun arrived at the Los Angeles airport on December 26th,
1998. Hannah was the gift from God on Christmas. How mysterious but thoughtful
my Father God in heaven works! My whole family, my parents and my sister’s
family, went to the airport to meet Hannah. Due to the excitement of the whole
event, I forgot my camera. But to my relief my father did remember to bring his
own.
Watching Hannah Sleep
Hannah was kind of quiet for a couple of hours after
her arrival. But once she found out she was surrounded by people who cared for
her, her voice started rising, she played very energetically with her cousins
and started demanding what she wanted. The first night came and I found myself
not able to go to sleep but kept staring at Hannah who was sound asleep next to
me. I am not sure what I was thinking but one thing I remember is that the
adoption has become the reality. Maybe I was giving a silent prayer to Jesus,
asking to give me the courage and wisdom to go through any difficulties marching
down on me from this day on. One thing I noticed during my sleepless hours of
“studying” Hannah was that she was snoring loud with half-opened eyes.
Basically I was staring at her and she was staring at me in her sleep – “Why
are you staring at me, Dad?”
Meeting Sam from Bang Joo Won
Mr. Yun was very happy during his 2-week stay with us
at my house. We became very close like relatives, especially when we found out
that Mr. Yun came from the same town where my father came from. Last January
Susan visited Bang Joo Won and stayed there for 2 days with Mr. Yun’s family
and the kids. During his stay with us, we visited San Jose to meet an adoptee
named “Sam-sool” (his American
name is “Sam”.) from Bang Joo Won 10 years ago. It was a very memorable
trip. We arrived at Sam’s house on Dec 31st, stayed over night and
on Jan 1st we exchanged the traditional Korean bow. Even though Sam
did not speak Korean I could see in his eyes how grateful and happy to see his
old orphanage director. Mr. Yun could not help but to weep from time to time
after seeing how well Sam grew up in a good family. Sam showed great interest in
Hannah and they played together like a brother and a sister for a while; one
speaking Korean, the other speaking English. In the morning of January 1st
I felt very proud and privileged to be a Korean-American adoptive parent who
adopted a Korean child. Wasn’t that a great way to start the first day of the
year in the last 20th century?
The Reality of Adoption
The first sign of difficulty shadowed on us about 2
months after Hannah cam home. Susan and I had a big fight over the way she
handled Hannah. As a matter of fact, it was my fault after all. I should not
have interfered when my wife tried to chide Hannah on what she did wrong. One
thing led to another and Susan let out her emotion, which was built inside her
regarding me, Hannah and of herself after Hannah’s arrival. Basically Susan
was struggling with the changes brought into her life. As for me, I assumed that
Susan was doing OK since she put her smile on her face.
After an hour or so Susan and I were crying loud, holding together,
saying, “I’m sorry.” to each other, and praying for each other. Hannah
watched us silently the whole time. Later Hannah asked us about the incident.
Susan told her what she went through after Hannah came home. I don’t think
Hannah understood what Susan said but at least it was good for Hannah to see
that her Mommy and Daddy resolved whatever that was bothering them through
prayer at the end. The reality
struck us quite hard at that time.
Observing
Hannah
Hannah is now seven years old and growing taller and
stronger. She is never shy, instead she charges toward an unknown territory.
Several times she got notices from her teacher about bullying her friends and
sometimes having fights with her friends. She is a very fast learner and she
does not quite feel right if she does not lead on whatever she is doing. She
loves to sing. She has a very good memory.
She can sing quite a few gospels from her memory either in English or in
Korean. As days go by, we are thrilled to learn more about Hannah – her
ability to learn and respond to the world around her. Susan and I know that it
is Jesus who is raising Hannah with His purpose. We, as Hannah’s parents, only
show Hannah that Jesus is the one whom we love and trust most and that He is in
charge of her life as He is in charge of ours.
Hannah’s Questions
I have been reading a book called “Making Sense of
Adoption” for quite a while. It has become a guideline for my dealing with
Hannah as far as adoption issues go. About four months ago, on a Sunday
afternoon I explained to her how she joined to the family. She looked at me and
asked who her birthmother was. I simply answered that we did not know because
there was no record of it. She seemed to think about it for a couple of minutes
and asked if I wanted to play Monopoly with her. In the evening Susan wondered
what I said to Hannah. I told her what happened. She, then, understood why
Hannah said that she loved her new mother very much even though she was not born
of her. Hannah may have decided to put this sensitive issue aside until she
would understand better. Last weekend Hannah suddenly said that she would like
to have a baby boy from her mother so that she could take the baby in her arms.
I carefully probed which mother she was referring to. (That was very silly of
me, in fact.) She responded to my “dumb” question with a blank look –
“What are you talking about, Dad?”
An Advocate of Adoption
Because of our adoption experience, one of my friends who has three
sons asked a lot of questions about adoption. I told him my story and how I felt
about adoption. I encouraged him to consider adoption more seriously. Although I
had no intention from the beginning, but very naturally I found myself becoming
an advocate for adoption, especially adoption of Korean children from Korea.
There is no doubt in my mind that nothing is more blessed than providing a home
for a child with the love of Jesus. I am very glad that I found MPAK where I can
share my struggles and get encouragements from the other Korean-American
families that have adopted just like me. Thank you, Jesus. I know You always
lead my way.